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Nowadays the way many people intact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology has affected the type of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.1

Nowadays the way many people intact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology has affected the type of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 1
Due to the advancement in the automation has certainly affected the mode of the communication. However, these new forms will provide the conveyance and feel connected with their loved ones. The essay will discuss about the how this change affected an individual’s relationship and benefits it provides to the society. To begin with, the predominant measure for the use of technology provide faster communication than the past. With the use of this new medium people can make contact with the people who are at another part of the world in the fraction of a second. Moreover, the cost of this communication is economical. Although this will deliver the variety of communication such as audio call, video call and text message, this variety delivers the popularity of it. For example, in the past, people are sending the letters to communicate with the others as it take a number of days, with the use of technology people can communicate with any person in few minutes. On the other hand, this diversity has provided many positive points to an individual. The first merit is that having a stronger relationship with their family member one can increase their strength. This will provide them a way to their development. Furthermore, one can also expand their business over the globe. However, this will only possible by using the communication with the person who are living in the other part of the universe. For instance, research conducted shows that person’s individual growth is elaborated drastically with the advancement of the technology than the past. In conclusion, there are many positive points of this diversity which help to grow the individual’s ability. This technology provides the way to communicate with person who are any corner of the world. Even this will help them to expand their relationship
Due to the advancement in the automation has
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the mode of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
However
, these new forms will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the conveyance and feel connected with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. The essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
how this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
relationship and benefits it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
to the society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the predominant measure for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
faster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
than the past. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of this new medium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
contact with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are at another part of the world in the fraction of a second.
Moreover
, the cost of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is economical. Although this will deliver the variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
such as audio call, video call and text message, this variety delivers the popularity of it.
For example
, in the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are sending the letters to communicate with the others as it take a number of days, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can communicate with any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in few minutes.

On the other hand
, this diversity has provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. The
first
merit is that having a stronger relationship with their family member one can increase their strength. This will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
them a way to their development.
Furthermore
, one can
also
expand their business over the globe.
However
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible by using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who are living in the other part of the universe.
For instance
, research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
growth
is elaborated
drastically
with the advancement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
than the past.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points of this diversity which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to grow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
ability. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
the way to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who are any corner of the world. Even this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to expand their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
relationship
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people intact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology has affected the type of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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