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Nowadays the rate of drug abuse among the youth is on the increase. What are the reasons for this and how can we solve this problem? v.1

Nowadays the rate of drug abuse among the youth is on the increase. What are the reasons for this and how can we solve this problem? v. 1
In recent years, the number of addicted youngsters has raised constantly. This essay will expose some motives for this and try to give some possible solutions. Arguably, one of the causes could be the need of adolescents to fit in a specific social circle, that includes drug users. The fear that they would not be accepted leads to occasionally consumption and, later, to addiction. The second reason is that youngsters are often motivated to look for new experiences, particularly those they perceive as thrilling or daring. Another motive is that today’s society is a very competitive one, and the pressure to perform athletically or academically can be intense. Various young adults may turn to certain drugs like illegal or prescription stimulants because they think those substances will enhance or improve their performance. The Guardian published an article claiming that the use of illicit substances to boost mental performance is rife in British universities. Turning to solutions, a possible one may be that teenagers be informed about the risks of drug abuse. Drug prevention can usually be made in health classes. Also, the parents should closely monitor their alcohol, inhalants, prescriptions, and other medication. By doing so it has been found to decrease substance abuse by a teen. Another solving could be creating a community substance abuse program that can change the lives of residents. Drugs are usually everywhere, no matter if is a rich, middle class or poor community. For instance, The National Institute on Drug Abuse has researched and found that programs to help prevent substance usage that involves families, schools, media and communities are the ones who reduce drug abuse most of time. To sum up, if more information and rehabilitation programs were available worldwide, the teens would be aware about how dangerous drug use may be.
In recent years, the number of addicted youngsters has raised
constantly
. This essay will expose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
motives for this and try to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions.

Arguably
, one of the causes could be the need of adolescents to fit in a specific social circle, that includes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
users. The fear that they would not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
leads to
occasionally
consumption and, later, to addiction. The second reason is that youngsters are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
motivated to look for new experiences,
particularly
those they perceive as thrilling or daring. Another motive is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive one, and the pressure to perform
athletically
or
academically
can be intense. Various young adults may turn to certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
like illegal or prescription stimulants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substances
will enhance or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their performance. The Guardian published an article claiming that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of illicit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substances
to boost mental performance is rife in British universities.

Turning to solutions, a possible one may be that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
be informed
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drug
prevention can
usually
be made
in health classes.
Also
, the parents should
closely
monitor their alcohol, inhalants, prescriptions, and other medication. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it has
been found
to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
by a teen. Another solving could be creating a community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
program that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of residents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drugs
are
usually
everywhere, no matter if is a rich, middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or poor community.
For instance
, The National Institute on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drug
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Abuse
has researched and found that programs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substance
usage that involves families, schools, media and communities are the ones who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abuse
Consider using "most time" or "most of the time".
most of time
.

To sum up, if more information and rehabilitation programs were available worldwide, the teens would be aware about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
may be.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Nowadays the rate of drug abuse among the youth is on the increase. What are the reasons for this and how can we solve this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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