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Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v.1

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v. 1
It is argued that, nowadays, a significant number of museums and historical sites are generally more visited by tourists rather than the local people. There are myriad factors associated with this and this essay will give some possible measures to promote such type of sites. To begin with the reasons, the first prime cause is that local people already familiar with the myths and heroes of a particular region. They know their legends and their contribution to society, and because of this they do not find any new information in these places. Consequently, they started showing less interest towards museums and historical places. Another gigantic factor is that mainly these informational centers are old and are equipped with old technology such as pictures, handwritten articles instead of any modern means. There are no audio visual system which assist a person to retain the interest in the information. Additionally, with the presence of these items even an uneducated person can gain knowledge. Turning towards the measures which can enhance the visiting of people in these places. First of all, museum administration has to introduce some policies in which they can share the information regarding legends across the world. Tourists from outer regions will also glad after seeing a hero from their continent. This will also intensifies the pace of locals visit to historical site as everyday everyone will learn new things. Apart from this, higher authorities should introduce modern equipments such as laser and 3D painting, computers, internet so that people can also search something to their own. Displaying information through visuals is beneficial. In conclusion, museums and historical places are a common heritage of a nation and it is the duty of officials to maintain all the infrastructure concerned with these sites to promote their work.
It
is argued
that, nowadays, a significant number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
sites are
generally
more visited by tourists
rather
than the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are myriad factors associated with this and this essay will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible measures to promote such type of sites.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the reasons, the
first
prime cause is that local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
already familiar with the myths and heroes of a particular region. They know their legends and their contribution to society, and
because of this
they do not find any new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Consequently
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
showing less interest towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Another gigantic factor is that
mainly
these informational centers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
are equipped
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
technology such as pictures, handwritten articles
instead
of any modern means. There are no audio visual system which assist a person to retain the interest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Additionally
, with the presence of these items even an uneducated person can gain knowledge.

Turning towards the measures which can enhance the visiting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
administration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
introduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policies in which they can share the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
regarding legends across the world. Tourists from outer regions will
also
glad after seeing a hero from their continent. This will
also
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "intensify"
intensifies
the pace of locals visit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
site as everyday everyone will learn new things. Apart from this, higher authorities should introduce modern equipments such as laser and 3D painting, computers, internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
search something to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Displaying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
through visuals is beneficial.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are a common heritage of a nation and it is the duty of officials to maintain all the infrastructure concerned with these sites to promote their work.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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