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Nowadays the football supporters behave violently. What is the cause? How can we solve it? v.1

Nowadays the football supporters behave violently. What is the cause? How can we solve it? v. 1
It is often seen that football supporters exhibit vicious behaviour in the present era. The primary reasons are the emotions as well as excessive consumption of alcohol. This problem can be solved by introducing strict punishment and banning liquor during matches. Indubitably staying, people have become restless now a days. They are unable to control their emotions. As a result, they become emotionally attached to the game and sometimes indulge in violence as well. A prime example of this is the damage done by the spectators of a popular football club to the stadium in England when their team lost marginally to the rival team. Hence, this brings a bad message to the society. Moreover, most of the supporters prefer to consume alcohol for pleasure. Not only, it is detrimental to health, but also excessive consumption can cause loss of life. In turn, they become senseless and are unable to gauge the impact of damage they are causing to the spectators as well as stadium’s property. Thus, it results in monetary loss for the organisers. In order to overcome the aforementioned problems, concrete steps should be taken. Firstly, strict punishment should be given to the people indulging in violence. For instance, a recent survey conducted by the ‘BBC News’ has observed that authorities in North American countries have introduced hefty fines as well as imprisonment for those indulging in violence during games. Secondly, there should be a ban on serving liquor during sports events. Therefore, these efforts can contribute towards controlling turbulence. To recapitulate, violence in games is on rise from past few years. Though it had detrimental impact, but proper counselling and keeping check on people’s activities can bring it down.
It is
often
seen
that football supporters exhibit vicious
behaviour
in the present era. The primary reasons are the emotions as
well
as excessive consumption of alcohol. This problem can
be solved
by introducing strict punishment and banning liquor during matches.

Indubitably
staying,
people
have become restless
now a days
. They are unable to control their emotions.
As a result
, they become
emotionally
attached to the game and
sometimes
indulge in
violence
as
well
. A prime example of this is the damage done by the spectators of a popular football club to the stadium in England when their team lost
marginally
to the rival team.
Hence
, this brings a
bad
message to the society.

Moreover
, most of the supporters prefer to consume alcohol for pleasure. Not
only
, it is detrimental to health,
but
also
excessive consumption can cause loss of life. In turn, they become senseless and are unable to gauge the impact of damage they are causing to the spectators as
well
as stadium’s property.
Thus
, it results in monetary loss for the
organisers
.

In order to overcome the aforementioned problems, concrete steps should
be taken
.
Firstly
, strict punishment should be
given
to the
people
indulging in
violence
.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted by the ‘BBC News’ has observed that authorities in North American countries have introduced hefty fines as
well
as imprisonment for those indulging in
violence
during games.
Secondly
, there should be a ban on serving liquor during sports
events
.
Therefore
, these efforts can contribute towards controlling turbulence.

To recapitulate,
violence
in games is on rise from past few years. Though it had detrimental impact,
but
proper counselling and keeping
check
on
people
’s activities can bring it down.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the football supporters behave violently. What is the cause? How can we solve it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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