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The supporters of genetic research claim that genetic engineering is the answer to many problems and we t should be conducted and results should be rigorously applied? Is it true that genetic research has more benefits compared throwbacks? v.2

The supporters of genetic research claim that genetic engineering is the answer to many problems and we t should be conducted and results should be rigorously applied? Is it true that genetic research has more benefits compared throwbacks? v. 2
Without doubt, standard of living had improved drastically with the application of increased knowledge of science and technology. Therefore, those who support scientific findings of genes have claimed that genetic modification is the solution to several challenges; and so should be encouraged. My opinion is that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Apparently, there are lots of positive implications of genetic engineering. The major one is the suggestion that average life span could be extended. this has been an important desire of many people, for years because life is too short according to them. so if genetic science finally achieve that, it will meet an age long need for longevity. Furthermore, DNS science has been predicted to provide treatments to diseases that have been considered untreatable. Evidently, quality of lives will be better if terminal diseases such as cancer and AIDS, could be treated. Conversely, there are also downsides to DNA technology. A fatal one is overpopulation, which will put more too much stress on the already delicate environment. this is because the natural resources will no longer be enough to cater for more people living, since deaths cannot put balance to the new additions from from births. In addition to that, any mistake or mutation in the research could amount to great disaster. For instance, some science fiction movies predicted monsters could be mistakenly created, which will invariably end the world itself. Summing up, the suggestion that DNA science could resolve lots of health issues is beneficial because it can prolong average life expectancies and also provide means of treating serious illnesses. Nevertheless, venturing into genetic engineering have grave consequences as over population and mistakes in the process could terminate human existence.
Without doubt, standard of living had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
drastically
with the application of increased knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology.
Therefore
, those who support scientific findings of genes have claimed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
modification is the solution to several challenges; and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
should
be encouraged
. My opinion is that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

Apparently
, there are lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
implications of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
engineering. The major one is the suggestion that average life span could
be extended
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
has been an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
desire of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, for years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
life is too short according to them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
finally
achieve that, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
an age long need for longevity.
Furthermore
, DNS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
has
been predicted
to provide treatments to diseases that have
been considered
untreatable.
Evidently
, quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
will be better if terminal diseases such as cancer and AIDS, could
be treated
.

Conversely
, there are
also
downsides to DNA technology. A fatal one is overpopulation, which will put more too much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on the already delicate environment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the natural resources will no longer be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to cater for more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living, since deaths cannot put balance to the new additions
Possible typo: you repeated a word
from from
births.
In addition
to that, any mistake or mutation in the research could amount to great disaster.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
fiction movies predicted monsters could be
mistakenly
created, which will
invariably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the world itself.

Summing up, the suggestion that DNA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
could resolve lots of health issues is beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can prolong average life expectancies and
also
provide means of treating serious illnesses.
Nevertheless
, venturing into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
engineering have grave consequences as over population and mistakes in the process could terminate human existence.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The supporters of genetic research claim that genetic engineering is the answer to many problems and we t should be conducted and results should be rigorously applied? Is it true that genetic research has more benefits compared throwbacks? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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