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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
Now in these days it has become very important to use these types of gadgets who take care of our environment, things or people in the absence of us. With the help of using a tracing tool it has become very easy to locate people and to find criminals. We are also using CCTV cameras to follow people. We can see that at all the public places cameras are installed to watch the activities of the people. Whenever any accident will happen on the road, then the video footage of CCTV has been checked and chased the faulty people. Most of the time I have seen that it has been written in every public place to aware the people about the CCTV cameras, but some time still people are not aware that they are being chased by the cameras. Almost in every situation all the people are aware that wherever they are being chased or not. In some cases, where people are using these tools in the wrong way, then only in that case they are unaware about that. I strongly agreed that these are so many benefits of using the technology, which was has been developed to monitor the people. We can catch the thieves with the help of location and footage. We can also claim our lost item. For example, if we placed a mobile phone in a public place and a CCTV camera is installed over there. Suddenly you lost your phone and you can check on the cctv cameras that who has stolen your phone.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
in these days it has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these types of gadgets who take care of our environment, things or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the absence of us. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of using a tracing tool it has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to locate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and to find criminals. We are
also
using CCTV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that at all the public places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
are installed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the activities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Whenever any accident will happen on the road, then the video footage of CCTV has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
and chased the faulty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Most of the time I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that it has
been written
in every public place to aware the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the CCTV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not aware that they are
being chased
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
. Almost in every situation all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware that wherever they are
being chased
or not. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using these tools in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in that case
they are unaware about that.

I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of using the technology, which was has
been developed
to monitor the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. We can catch the thieves with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of location and footage. We can
also
claim our lost item.
For example
, if we placed a mobile phone in a public place and a CCTV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
is installed
over there.
Suddenly
you lost your phone and you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
cctv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
that who has stolen your phone.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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