Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. v. 1
People always think children are now given the excessive freedom, I completely agree with this opinion and I believe that children’s behaviour should be confined by guardians since they are unable to distinguish between right or wrong in their life. Lack of supervision by parents and teachers has become the main reason for children having too much freedom. Parents are too busy to take care of their children in society, they have other things to deal with in life, such as job problems. Children’s behaviour is not restricted with rules and disciplines set by their parents, which gives children more opportunities to use the internet or social platforms. For example, Internet using easily diverts their attention from study if they are allowed to use study time to play computers. An excess of freedom also contributes to children’s education quality worldwide. In schools, it is difficult for teachers to pay certain attention to every student in class due to their limited time and energy. In addition, children can not raise their awareness to control or restrain their own immoral behavior which learned from TV programs or Internet videos. Therefore, more children choose to flee the school or homes, instead of that, they prefer to stay internet bar overnight. Absenteeism rate is the best evidence to prove that less concern given to children might be harmful for their education life. In conclusion, children are not self-awareness and the early exposure to negative influence on social platforms will be detrimental to their further behaviours. I believe that children have too much freedom today and should be supervised by guardians.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion and I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
should
be confined
by guardians since they are unable to distinguish between right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
in their life.

Lack of supervision by parents and teachers has become the main reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
having too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
. Parents are too busy to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in society, they have other things to deal with in life, such as job problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is not restricted with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and disciplines set by their parents, which gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet or social platforms.
For example
, Internet using
easily
diverts their attention from study if they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
study time to play computers.

An excess of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
also
contributes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
education quality worldwide. In schools, it is difficult for teachers to pay certain attention to every student in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
due to their limited time and energy.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can not raise their awareness to control or restrain their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
immoral behavior which learned from TV programs or Internet videos.
Therefore
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
choose to flee the school or homes,
instead
of that, they prefer to stay internet bar overnight. Absenteeism rate is the best evidence to prove that less concern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might be harmful for their education life.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not self-awareness and the early exposure to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on social platforms will be detrimental to their
further
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and should
be supervised
by guardians.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts