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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing ( for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening). Do you think the adv v.18

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing ( for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening). Do you think the adv v. 18
In today' s world, technology has influenced almost every aspect of our lives. In the 21st century, digital technologies can facilitate shopping, working and education. However, the technologies of today can easily monitor our everyday activities or analyze an individual' s private conversations. While some people believe that monitoring activities are critical to ensure our security, others contend that these interferences in our everyday lives are unnecessary. Administrations around the world are responsible for the safety of their citizens. One important responsibility is safe guarding people from crime. Perhaps one of the most effective ways to ensure that criminal behavior is minimized is through surveillance. Closed Circuit Television (CCTV) can minimize crime by providing a visual record of any illegal activity. For example, retail outlets closely monitor the movements of shoppers. If they detect anything suspicious, security may take action to prevent theft. This is a significant deterrent to a would be thief and helps to prevent crime. However, surveillance cameras have become ubiquitous in many of our cities. London is a good case in point. In this city, there are over 400, 000 CCTV cameras covering almost every aspect of a Londoner' s daily life. It is true that the visuals from these cameras have been used to successfully prosecute criminals, but many people believe this is an invasion of their privacy. Further to this, mobile telephone conversations, text messaging and email can also be monitored and recorded by corporations and governments. To conclude, administrations are quick to point towards the advantages of continuing the expansion of surveillance technologies. They believe that these technologies are essential for ensuring public safety. In my opinion, there are situations where CCTV is a useful security tool although an individual' s privacy must also be respected.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has influenced almost every aspect of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In the 21st century, digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
can facilitate shopping, working and education.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
can
easily
monitor our everyday activities or analyze an
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s private conversations. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that monitoring activities are critical to ensure our security, others contend that these interferences in our everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are unnecessary.

Administrations around the world are responsible for the safety of their citizens. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
responsibility is safe guarding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from crime. Perhaps one of the most effective ways to ensure that criminal behavior
is minimized
is through surveillance. Closed Circuit Television (CCTV) can minimize crime by providing a visual record of any illegal activity.
For example
, retail outlets
closely
monitor the movements of shoppers. If they detect anything suspicious, security may take action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
theft. This is a significant deterrent to a would be thief and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
crime.

However
, surveillance cameras have become ubiquitous in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of our cities. London is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
case in point. In this city, there are over 400, 000 CCTV cameras covering almost every aspect of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Londoner&
#039; s daily life. It is true that the visuals from these cameras have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
successfully
prosecute criminals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe this is an invasion of their privacy.
Further
to this, mobile telephone conversations, text messaging and email can
also
be monitored
and recorded by corporations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

To conclude
, administrations are quick to point towards the advantages of continuing the expansion of surveillance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
. They believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are essential for ensuring public safety. In my opinion, there are situations where CCTV is a useful security tool although an
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s privacy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
be respected
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing ( for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening). Do you think the adv v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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