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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. v.16

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. v. 16
With the exponential growth of the technology in recent times, we are also seeing its wide and varied application in all walks of life one among it is to track the movements of people and their doings. This application can be a boon or a bane but in my view, the harmful effects outweigh the useful outcomes. Firstly, increasing intrusion in one’s life events without consent is seen as a denial of privacy which is a fundamental right. This can be viewed as a major emotional setback as it happened in the case of phone tapping row in America which resulted in clashes between government and public. Not only it leads to distrust among people but also disturbed the social harmony which existed. Furthermore, the data collected by monitoring can be misused if it ends up in wrong hands. For example, people can use these data to extort money or events like ATM frauds and credit cards frauds or leakage of private images on the internet damaging the reputation of the concerned individual. Although, one cannot deny that these activities of surveillance by designated authorities can prevent any attack on humanity by antisocial elements like terrorists thus maintaining peace and harmony in the society. Moreover, these kinds of monitoring at a certain level can be used by the employers for employee appraisal by knowing the right candidate deserving rewards for his hard work. To conclude, as every coin has two sides similarly use of technology to keep track of people also has its own advantages and disadvantages though in my opinion disadvantages outweigh advantages by a small margin.
With the exponential growth of the technology in recent times, we are
also
seeing its wide and varied application in all walks of life one among it is to
track
the movements of
people
and their doings. This application can be a boon or a bane
but
in my view, the harmful effects outweigh the useful outcomes.

Firstly
, increasing intrusion in one’s life
events
without consent is
seen
as a denial of privacy which is a fundamental right. This can
be viewed
as a major emotional setback as it happened in the case of phone tapping row in America which resulted in clashes between
government
and public. Not
only
it leads to distrust among
people
but
also
disturbed the social harmony which existed.
Furthermore
, the data collected by monitoring can
be misused
if it ends up in
wrong
hands.
For example
,
people
can
use
these data to extort money or
events
like ATM frauds and credit cards frauds or leakage of private images on the internet damaging the reputation of the concerned individual.

Although, one cannot deny that these activities of surveillance by designated authorities can
prevent
any attack on humanity by antisocial elements like terrorists
thus
maintaining peace and harmony in the society.
Moreover
, these kinds of monitoring at a certain level can be
used
by the employers for employee appraisal by knowing the right candidate deserving rewards for his
hard
work.

To conclude
, as every coin has two sides
similarly
use
of technology to
keep
track
of
people
also
has its
own
advantages and disadvantages though in my opinion disadvantages outweigh advantages by a
small
margin.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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