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The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. v.8

The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. v. 8
It is a fact that internet technology has helped people in connecting with their relatives and friends without the boundaries of distance and cost, but many people think that the technology has made people become less socialized and more individualistic. To a certain extent, I would agree that the internet has negatively affected to people's social life, but if we use the technology in a wise and appropriate manner, it has a lot of positive functions. On the one hand, it is true that many people are having social life problems these days, due to the existence of internet and information technology. Almost everybody have their own mobile phone nowadays, and they can use it for browsing, chatting and online gaming.   With all the attractive and entertaining applications, many people like to play around with their gadget for hours and abandon their social life. As a result, it has been reported that many families are having communication problems these days due to they have less time for an eye to eye contact with other family members. However, it can be clearly seen that the problem has risen due to the improper and indiscipline act of users themselves. If the internet is used in the right purpose and in the appropriate portion, it would bring many benefits for mankind. Firstly, internet technology has truly changed the way individuals and corporations interact and correspond. With electronic email and chatting facilities such as yahoo or google, people could communicate and connected with other people in a more efficient and effective way. Secondly, the internet could also be used to expand people's networking. Social media sites such as Facebook or twitter could be used to connect people from different areas, maintain friendships and even it could be used for online businesses as well.   Therefore, it depends on of the users themselves on how wise they use it. In conclusion, although online technology has become a problem for some people's social life, others disagree about it. To a certain point, I do believe that internet could be a treat to our social life, but if people use it wisely and appropriately then I do believe that it has a lot of benefits for individuals and societies.
It is a fact that internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in connecting with their relatives and friends without the boundaries of distance and cost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become less socialized and more individualistic. To a certain extent, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the internet has
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in a wise and appropriate manner, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
functions.

On the one hand, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
these days, due to the existence of internet and information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Almost everybody
The pronoun 'everybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mobile phone nowadays, and they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for browsing, chatting and online gaming.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
With all the attractive and entertaining applications,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to play around with their gadget for hours and abandon their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
As a result
, it has
been reported
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families are having communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
these days due to they have less time for an
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
eye to eye
contact with other family members.

However
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has risen due to the improper and indiscipline act of users themselves. If the internet is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the right purpose and in the appropriate portion, it would bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for mankind.
Firstly
, internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
truly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way individuals and corporations interact and correspond. With electronic email and chatting facilities such as yahoo or google,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could communicate and connected with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a more efficient and effective way.
Secondly
, the internet could
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to expand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's networking.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
media sites such as Facebook or twitter could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas, maintain friendships and even it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for online businesses
as well
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Therefore
, it depends on of the users themselves on how wise they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.

In conclusion
, although online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, others disagree about it. To a certain point, I do believe that internet could be a treat to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
wisely
and
appropriately
then I do believe that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for individuals and societies.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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