Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. v.12

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. v. 12
In today’s modern world, technology has developed at a fast pace and undoubtedly, it brings a handful of benefits but at the same time, it still has disadvantages like making the monitoring of what people are saying and doing. The essay will examine both sides of the issue. The advanced technology nowadays makes people feel insecure as tracking process is made to be simple for people to monitor their friends or family members. Those who are being monitored may not aware of that this is happening and this leads to some issues related to personal privacy arrived. For instance, we constantly bombarded with the news that some couples will use this technology to track their couples through the electronic devices. Therefore, people may feel stress as they are afraid of being the next target of being monitored by others through cell phone tracking. Nevertheless, the developed technology does bring numerous advantages. To begin, this technology like security cameras can help to prevent crime from happening. Thus, the crime rate will be reduced. The police nowadays like to use the security cameras wisely to monitor the would-be offenders and take effective actions towards them immediately. On the other hand, this useful technology enables the children to keep track with their elderly parents for the reason to ensure that they are safe. By using this technology intelligently, children can take immediate actions whenever their parents need help or in danger. In other words, children can take care of their parents’ safety before things get worse. As a result, we can see that most of the children today will definitely buy their parents a smartphone with a tracking application installed. In conclusion, I believe the advantages of this development do outweigh the disadvantages. Even though there is a negative impact on people lives that is being monitored by others through cell phones, there are some benefits as well. Not forgetting to mention that a coin has both sides, if we can utilise this technology in an intelligent manner, we will surely get benefited and our country will continue to prosper and flourish in the decades to come.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has developed at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace and
undoubtedly
, it brings a handful of benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time, it
still
has disadvantages like making the monitoring of what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are saying and doing. The essay will examine both sides of the issue.

The advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel insecure as tracking process
is made
to be simple for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to monitor their friends or family members. Those who are
being monitored
may not aware of that this is happening and this leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues related to personal privacy arrived.
For instance
, we
constantly
bombarded with the news that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
couples will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
their couples through the electronic devices.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
as they are afraid of being the
next
target of
being monitored
by others through cell phone tracking.

Nevertheless
, the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
does bring numerous advantages. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
like security cameras can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
crime from happening.
Thus
, the crime rate will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. The police nowadays like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the security cameras
wisely
to monitor the would-be offenders and take effective actions towards them immediately. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, this useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
enables the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
with their elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for the reason to ensure that they are safe. By using this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
intelligently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can take immediate actions whenever their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
or in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
safety
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse.
As a result
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
a smartphone with a tracking application installed.

In conclusion
, I believe the advantages of this development do outweigh the disadvantages.
Even though
there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
that is
being monitored
by others through cell phones, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits
as well
. Not forgetting to mention that a coin has both sides, if we can
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
Consider replacing "in an intelligent manner" with the adverb for "intelligent"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an intelligent manner
, we will
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefited and our country will continue to prosper and flourish in the decades to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts