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Nowadays, some universities offer graduate students skills that assist to find employment, but some people believe the main function of a university should be to access knowledge for its sake. What's your opinion? v.2

Nowadays, some universities offer graduate students skills that assist to find employment, but some people believe the main function of a university should be to access knowledge for its sake. What's your opinion? v. 2
Universities and schools play a major role in providing education to students. In order to provided employment, universities tend to offer students adequate skills for getting a job. While, some people are against this trend as they firmly believe the primary purpose of universities is to propagate knowledge rather than providing employment. In my opinion, graduate students should be taught about the skills which are currently needed in the market b universities indirectly delivering employment to all. Graduate students have to compete with the whole world after leaving their college. In order to compete, students have to develop the necessary skills in a particular field to excel themselves. The curriculum of the universities should be arranged in such a way that is beneficial to the students in the practical world. One of the major problem all over the world is unemployment and to lower its effect, one need to develop skills having high demand in the market. For instance, the government of India has taken an initiative for acquiring skills all over the country and runs a campaign known as " Skill India" . Furthermore, universities too should assist their students to the skill set for providing jobs which will benefit not only themselves but will also, increase the economy of the country. In addition, a lot of complains are coming from the students as they are not able to stand out of the crowd due to the dearth of skill set and knowledge required to get placed in a company. Acquiring knowledge without implementing it is by no means advantageous to students. On the other hand, students do not get the opportunity to learn profound study of their interested subjects. To put it in a nutshell, graduate students have the chance to gain practical exposure of the market and can choose their career accordingly. The trend of offering skills to the graduate students by universities will facilitate them to get employed.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
and schools play a major role in providing education to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In order to provided employment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
tend to offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for getting a job. While,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are against this trend as they
firmly
believe the primary purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is to propagate knowledge
rather
than providing employment. In my opinion, graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be taught
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which are
currently
needed in the market b
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
indirectly
delivering employment to all.

Graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compete with the whole world after leaving their college. In order to compete,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
develop the necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in a particular field to excel themselves. The curriculum of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should
be arranged
in such a way
that is
beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the practical world. One of the major problem all over the world is unemployment and to lower its effect, one need to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
having high demand in the market.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of India has taken an initiative for acquiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
all over the country and runs a campaign known as
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Skill
Possible spelling mistake found.
India&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
too should assist their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
set for providing jobs which will benefit not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
, increase the economy of the country.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Did you mean "complaints"?
complains
are coming from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as they are not able to stand out of the crowd due to the dearth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
set and knowledge required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
placed in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Acquiring knowledge without implementing it is by no means advantageous to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to learn profound study of their interested subjects.

To put it in a nutshell, graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have the chance to gain practical exposure of the market and can choose their career
accordingly
. The trend of offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to the graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
will facilitate them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, some universities offer graduate students skills that assist to find employment, but some people believe the main function of a university should be to access knowledge for its sake. What's your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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