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Some people think that a huge amount of money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this money should be better spent on human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Some people think that a huge amount of money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this money should be better spent on human population. with this opinion? v. 2
Wildlife conservation certainly consumes a massive resource, and this matter has courted enormous criticisms regarding the impoverished population. To quite a few people, it is alleged as an ethical dilemma; however, I strongly believe that protecting wild animals is the utmost investment wherein humans should allocate their fiscal resources. Firstly, protecting wild animals and many other undomesticated creatures not only promotes biodiversity but also reinforces our living environment. All living creatures in the wild are engaged with distinctive functions as to retain a sustainable natural environment and the intricate relationships between organisms; therefore, when wildlife is radically deteriorated from its natural habitat, it is unlikely to avoid the disruption of the ecological balance. For example, when one species of herbivorous prey becomes extinct, a considerable decline in its predator population will appear inevitable due to food scarcity, thereby consecutively resulting in the degradation of many other related habitants and the vulnerable ecosystem as a whole. Needless to say, as the last living creature perishes, it is our human species that will ultimately take the toll. Secondly, while human race has undoubtedly benefited from wildlife preservation, the amount of resource implemented in this realm proposes far more rewarding outcomes than that of spending on global population. According to the World Health Organization, as many as 80% of medical prescriptions are primarily derived from animals and plants, which constitutes an essential alternative in terms of both ailment treatment and human lifespan expansion. In other words, by conserving undomesticated animals and their ecological habitats, humankind is executing critical maneuvers in favour of our life quality, expectancy and sustainability. Moreover, investment of wildlife conservation programs are neither extravagant nor squandering national revenues as many individuals have accused. There is compelling evidence allegedly regarding the feeble achievement of the constantly replenished funds into addressing our community’s social crisis such as famine or environmental contamination. This is in all likelihood presented in underdeveloped countries where the indigent citizens are supposed to experience a better, healthier life assisted by the foreign aid over the past decades, yet remain living in poverty-stricken conditions whereas their upper-class counterparts are luxuriating in their own mansions. Having said that, decent people should be acclaimed for their immense generosity; however, we all should also take into considerations how to effectively allocate our financial resources. To summarize, I rigidly refute the view described in the statement. Not only does wildlife conservation, by and large, hold the crucial key to the survival of mankind but it is also our wise investment in the long run.
Wildlife
conservation
certainly
consumes a massive resource, and this matter has courted enormous criticisms regarding the impoverished population. To quite a few
people
, it
is alleged
as an ethical dilemma;
however
, I
strongly
believe that protecting wild
animals
is the utmost investment wherein
humans
should allocate their fiscal resources.

Firstly
, protecting wild
animals
and
many
other undomesticated creatures not
only
promotes biodiversity
but
also
reinforces our
living
environment. All
living
creatures in the wild
are engaged
with distinctive functions as to retain a sustainable natural environment and the intricate relationships between organisms;
therefore
, when
wildlife
is
radically
deteriorated from its natural habitat, it is unlikely to avoid the disruption of the ecological balance.
For example
, when one species of herbivorous prey becomes extinct, a considerable decline in its predator population will appear inevitable due to food scarcity, thereby
consecutively
resulting in the degradation of
many
other related habitants and the vulnerable ecosystem as a whole. Needless to say, as the last
living
creature perishes, it is our
human
species that will
ultimately
take the toll.

Secondly
, while
human
race has
undoubtedly
benefited from
wildlife
preservation, the amount of resource implemented in this realm proposes far more rewarding outcomes than that of spending on global population. According to the World Health Organization, as
many
as 80% of medical prescriptions are
primarily
derived from
animals
and plants, which constitutes an essential alternative in terms of both ailment treatment and
human
lifespan expansion.
In other words
, by conserving undomesticated
animals
and their ecological habitats, humankind is executing critical maneuvers in
favour
of our life quality, expectancy and sustainability.
Moreover
, investment of
wildlife
conservation programs are neither extravagant nor squandering national revenues as
many
individuals have accused. There is compelling evidence allegedly regarding the feeble achievement of the
constantly
replenished funds into addressing our community’s social crisis such as famine or environmental contamination. This is in all likelihood presented in underdeveloped countries where the indigent citizens
are supposed
to experience a better, healthier life assisted by the foreign aid over the past decades,
yet
remain
living
in poverty-stricken conditions whereas their upper-
class
counterparts are luxuriating in their
own
mansions. Having said that, decent
people
should
be acclaimed
for their immense generosity;
however
, we all should
also
take into considerations how to
effectively
allocate our financial resources.

To summarize
, I
rigidly
refute the view
described
in the statement. Not
only
does
wildlife
conservation, by and large, hold the crucial key to the survival of mankind
but
it is
also
our wise investment in the long run.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people think that a huge amount of money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this money should be better spent on human population. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
421 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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