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Nowadays some people say that children should go to school as young as possible. While others believe that children should go to school when they are at least seven years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Nowadays some people say that children should go to school as young as possible. While others believe that children should go to school when they are at least seven years old. v. 1
A daily walk of 30 minutes is said to be the best exercise. Our grandparents used to walk for miles on end to reach their destination. Today, people walk much less. Many factors are responsible for this. In the developed world most families have cars. They don’t walk even to the nearest grocery store. In the developing world, too, people are giving up the habit of walking because they have easy access to public transport systems. We all seek comfort. Walking on foot can be tiring. Needless to say, people prefer to travel by buses or cars whenever they have access to them. Motor vehicles are fast and thus they also help save time. Unfortunately, this habit of using the car or bus has several negative consequences. Most of us now spend hours in the office sitting in front of a computer. Because of this sedentary lifestyle, we have developed many health problems like obesity, diabetes and heart trouble. We can avoid most of these lifestyle diseases by simply walking for 30 minutes a day. Many people who have given up the habit of walking are unaware of the health problems they face. The government and health workers need to create awareness among the general public about the benefits of walking. People who use a car should park their vehicle farther from their office and take steps instead of the elevator. Children too should be encouraged to walk to school. Once they get used to this habit, they are more likely to stick to it in the future too. To conclude, lack of time and the need for comfort are the reasons that prevent people from walking. However, most of us will start walking again if we are aware of its health benefits. So, creating awareness is the key. The government and the media can play an important role in this.
A daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
of 30 minutes
is said
to be the best exercise. Our grandparents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
for miles on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to reach their destination.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
much less.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
factors are responsible for this.

In the developed world most families have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. They don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
even to the nearest grocery store. In the developing world, too,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are giving up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of walking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have easy access to public transport systems.

We all seek comfort. Walking on foot can be tiring. Needless to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to travel by buses or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
whenever they have access to them. Motor vehicles are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
thus
they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
save time. Unfortunately, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
or bus has several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. Most of us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
spend hours in the office sitting in front of a computer.
Because of this
sedentary lifestyle, we have developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems like obesity, diabetes and heart trouble. We can avoid most of these lifestyle diseases by
simply
walking for 30 minutes a day.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of walking are unaware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems they face. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
workers need to create awareness among the
Consider using "public".
general public
about the benefits of walking.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
should park their vehicle farther from their office and take steps
instead
of the elevator. Children too should
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
to school. Once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
, they are more likely to stick to it in the future too.

To conclude
, lack of time and the need for comfort are the reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from walking.
However
, most of us will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
walking again if we are aware of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, creating awareness is the key. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the media can play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in this.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays some people say that children should go to school as young as possible. While others believe that children should go to school when they are at least seven years old. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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