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Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is the case? Do you agree or disagree with this view? v.4

Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is the case? with this view? v. 4
Despite the fact that the matter of the recruitment has not caught the attention as frequently as other issues, it does not mean it is less vital. Some employers subscribe to a notion that formal qualifications are more crucial than personal qualities and experiences when they recruit new workers. As far as I am concerned, there are several reasons which lead to this pressing issue and in my opinion, this is a negative development. First of all, the most important reason why companies always look up to academic levels is the certificates of new employees while performing their duties at the universities. It is evident that the higher certificate students achieve, the more chance they can apply for well-paid jobs. Moreover, obtaining several qualifications means that people have many talents not only in their main fields but also in vocational activities at schools. As a result, achieving a host of certificates is the profound contribution to being hired by global enterprises. Additionally, the second reason is the old notions of people, which stemmed from many years ago. There is no room for doubt that from the earliest age, people who had the abilities to indicate their high educational levels, could be invited to work for both big domestic companies and multinational companies. So, this will benefit for not only employees, but also for employers. This will lead to the fact that companies often give stress on academic qualifications when they open the recruitment. Having said that, however, this notion will be a negative idea for many companies. Admittedly, nowadays, in spite of high academic levels, people are lack of work experiences. It is recognized that employers should focus on life experiences and personal qualities much more than educational qualifications while they interview new workers. Hence, they can find people who have the abilities to bring about benefits for the companies. In the light of the facts, I nurture the idea that this notion is a demerit for the employers if they still merely emphasize on academic qualifications. We should recruit people who can meet the requirements of work experiences and educational levels.
Despite the fact that the matter of the recruitment has not caught the attention as
frequently
as other issues, it does not mean it is less vital.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
subscribe to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
notion
that formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
are more crucial than personal qualities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
when they recruit new workers. As far as I
am concerned
, there are several reasons which lead to this pressing issue and in my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
always look up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
is the certificates of new employees while performing their duties at the universities. It is evident that the higher certificate students achieve, the more chance they can apply for well-paid jobs.
Moreover
, obtaining several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
talents not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their main fields
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in vocational activities at schools.
As a result
, achieving a host of certificates is the profound contribution to
being hired
by global enterprises.

Additionally
, the second reason is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
notions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which stemmed from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years ago. There is no room for doubt that from the earliest age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who had the abilities to indicate their high educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
, could
be invited
to work for both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this will benefit for not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
employees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
. This will lead to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
when they open the recruitment.

Having said that,
however
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
notion
will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
Admittedly
, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are lack of work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. It
is recognized
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
should focus on life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and personal qualities much more than educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
while they interview new workers.
Hence
, they can find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have the abilities to bring about benefits for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

In the light of the facts, I nurture the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
notion
is a demerit for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
if they
still
merely
emphasize on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
. We should recruit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the requirements of work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is the case? with this view? v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
352 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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