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In many western countries there is an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What are the advantages and disadvantages to couples having no children? v.1

In many western countries there is an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What are the advantages and disadvantages to couples having no children? v. 1
The number of children a couple decide to have is a very important and yet private choice. People are increasingly opting to not have any children. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks associated with this approach. Looking firstly at the advantages, an often quoted one is the freedom for couples to pursue their careers. This is because parents and especially mothers often have to put their work commitments on hold to start a family. For example, it is common for women to take upto 2 years off from their jobs to take care of their kids. This time can be utilized to further their careers if they decide not to have kids. Another crucial advantage is saving money. The usual expenses associated with kids like money spent on clothes, toys, school and college fees etc is saved. Turning to the drawbacks of having no children, an obvious one is the lack of family life and support. This is because young ones provide love and companionship that is often lacking in the lives of childless couples. Another significant disadvantage is the inability for families to pass on their legacy, in terms of inherited traits, family values and finances. Indeed a large part of the gene pool would go extinct if majority of the population decides not to have any progeny. In many cultures, parents expect children to be a source of support and help near the end of their lives. Hence, another drawback of not having kids would be lack of emotional and financial support when they are sick and elderly. In conclusion, the decision not to have kids has it's own advantages and disadvantages as described above. All said and done, in the end this decision should lie with the prospective parents who can choose as they see fit.
The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a couple decide to have is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
yet
private choice.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
increasingly
opting to not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks associated with this approach.

Looking
firstly
at the advantages, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
quoted one is the freedom for couples to pursue their careers. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
parents and
especially
mothers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put their work commitments on hold to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
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family
.
For example
, it is common for women to take
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
2 years off from their jobs to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. This time can
be utilized
to
further
their careers if they decide not to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. Another crucial advantage is saving money. The usual expenses associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
like money spent on clothes, toys, school and college fees etc
is saved
.

Turning to the drawbacks of having no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, an obvious one is the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life and support. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
young ones provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and companionship
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lacking in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of childless couples. Another significant disadvantage is the inability for
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families
to pass on their legacy, in terms of inherited traits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
values and finances.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
a large part of the gene pool would go extinct if
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the population decides not to have any progeny. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cultures, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
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children
to be a source of support and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
near the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Hence
, another drawback of not having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
would be lack of emotional and financial support when they are sick and elderly.

In conclusion
, the decision not to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
has
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above. All said and done, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
this decision should lie with the prospective parents who can choose as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
fit.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In many western countries there is an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What are the advantages and disadvantages to couples having no children? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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