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Nowadays people live in the society where consumer goods are relatively cheaper to buy. Do you think its advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v.1

Nowadays people live in the society where consumer goods are relatively cheaper to buy. Do you think its advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1
It is true that consumer goods these days are cheaper than they used to be in the past. Though there are various advantages associated with this, the drawbacks of cheaper consumer goods still outweigh them. When consumer goods can be bought at cheap rates, their consumption increases. While this is good for the economy, it hurts the environment because more resources are required to produce more goods. This does not help the planet. Another downside of excessive consumption is that it leads to the production of more waste. Actually, garbage disposal is one of the biggest issues we face today. Landfills all over the world are already overflowing. Oftentimes perfectly usable products are thrown away because a slightly better and newer version of the same product has already hit the market and can be bought for the same price. For example, many people these days change their mobile phones every two months. This trend is fuelled by the cheap prices and in my opinion it benefits neither the consumer nor the environment. Of course, there are some benefits to having cheap consumer products. For example, now mobile phones are quite cheap and consequently almost everyone owns a phone these days. This is certainly advantageous. When mobile phones first became available in the market, they were ridiculously pricey and only the rich could afford to buy them. This was the case with most electronic products ten or fifteen years ago and they had a created a society of haves and have nots. Fortunately, that is not the case today and now regardless of your financial status, you have access to modern technology and other innovations. In conclusion, cheap consumer goods are certainly beneficial but there is an urgent need to reduce their consumption. While I can understand the argument that everyone should have access to every product in the market, in my opinion, mindless consumption fuelled by cheap prices is in nobody’s interest.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
these days are cheaper than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be in the past. Though there are various advantages associated with this, the drawbacks of cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
still
outweigh them.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheap
rates, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
increases. While this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for the economy, it hurts the environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more resources
are required
to produce more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. This does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the planet. Another downside of excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
is that it leads to the production of more waste. Actually, garbage disposal is one of the biggest issues we face
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Landfills all over the world are already overflowing. Oftentimes
perfectly
usable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are thrown
away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
slightly
better and newer version of the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
has already hit the market and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
for the same price.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
every two months. This trend
is fuelled
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheap
prices and in my opinion it benefits neither the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
nor the environment.

Of course
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheap
and
consequently
almost everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
these days. This is
certainly
advantageous. When mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
first
became available in the market, they were
ridiculously
pricey and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the rich could afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them. This was the case with most electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
ten or fifteen years
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ago and
they had a created a society of haves and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
have nots
.
Fortunately
,
that is
not the case
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
regardless of your financial status, you have access to modern technology and other innovations.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are
certainly
beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is an urgent need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
. While I can understand the argument that everyone should have access to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the market, in my opinion, mindless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
fuelled by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheap
prices is in nobody’s interest.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Nowadays people live in the society where consumer goods are relatively cheaper to buy. Do you think its advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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