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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v.7

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 7
There is no doubt that the invention of sophisticated technology in the agriculture sector help the country to boost the production of farming products. However, some countries around the world still suffer from starvation. This essay will explain what is the real problems and give a solution for them. To begin with, advanced technology in agriculture just is operated by a developed country. It shows the gap between the utilization of agriculture technology between developed and developing countries. In this case, developing countries cannot develop their agriculture technology so that they just utilize the conventional method in the farming sector. Furthermore, the problem emerges when the number of agricultural products cannot full-fill from the total population in its country. Due to the fact that the number of inhabitants will suffer from hunger. In other cases, although the country has some technologies in agriculture, the country should also develop its human resources, especially for farmers. They should know how to build up a system of farming that is supported by advanced technology to boost production. On the other hand, those problems can be solved with the following steps. First, the information about advanced technology in agriculture should be shared for all countries in the world. The country who have this technology can create a sharing contract with other countries which want to substitute conventional farming method. Then, the farmers also need to be trained to create a system about how to boost the production of agriculture products by using advanced technology. In conclusion, starvation in the world can be demolished by advanced technology, if all countries have those technologies and know how to operate it.
There is no doubt that the invention of sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to boost the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
products.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world
still
suffer from starvation. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what is the real problems and give a solution for them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
is operated
by a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the gap between the utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
between developed and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
In this case
, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
cannot develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
utilize the conventional method in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
sector.
Furthermore
, the problem emerges when the number of agricultural products cannot full-fill from the total population in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Due to the fact that the number of inhabitants will suffer from hunger. In other cases, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should
also
develop its human resources,
especially
for farmers. They should know how to build up a system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
that
is supported
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to boost production.

On the other hand
, those problems can
be solved
with the following steps.
First
, the information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
should
be shared
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
who have this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can create a sharing contract with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which want to substitute conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
method. Then, the farmers
also
need to
be trained
to create a system about how to boost the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
products by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
technology.

In conclusion
, starvation in the world can
be demolished
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, if all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and know how to operate it.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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