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Nowadays people are working too hard. What is the reason for that? What should employers do in order to prevent employees from this? v.1

Nowadays people are working too hard. What is the reason for that? What should employers do in order to prevent employees from this? v. 1
It is undeniable that people have been working extremely hard in this modern age. This essay shall discuss two main causes of this including inflation and family expectations. This essay shall also suggest effective measures which organizations could take to give relief to workers including increased remuneration and limitation on overtime working. There is a variety of reasons why workers opt to work hard and extra than they require. Firstly, family member’s expectation has soared because they desire to live luxurious life in lieu of comfortable life. In other words, people are becoming workaholics to raise living standards of their family. Necessary presence of Television and air conditioner for every room in a house is a prime example of this. Secondly, inflation is another major cause which can be attributed to this phenomenon. Despite working moderately, labors are unable to provide basic living necessities in their home. Thus, it is completely clear that working overtime is essential to cope up modern day requirements. Nevertheless, despite above compelling reasons, employers can take several steps to mitigate this problem. Increasing salaries could not only motivate staff but also provide them opportunity to fulfill their basics of living without working extra hours. Moreover, managers could allow employees to work for limited hours in a week, in order to give them some leisure time to enjoy healthy pursuits. For example, dining outside with family after official working hours can act as a stress buster. Therefore, it is evident that corporations can help people in reducing their workload. In conclusion, although high cost of products and desire to have most of them are the main causes, employers could increase salaries to help their team members living healthy life without being over burden at work.
It is undeniable that
people
have been
working
extremely
hard
in this modern age. This essay shall discuss two main causes of this including inflation and
family
expectations. This essay shall
also
suggest effective measures which organizations could take to give relief to workers including increased remuneration and limitation on overtime working.

There is a variety of reasons why workers opt to work
hard
and
extra
than they require.
Firstly
,
family
member’s expectation has soared
because
they desire to
live
luxurious life in lieu of comfortable life.
In other words
,
people
are becoming workaholics to raise
living
standards of their
family
. Necessary presence of Television and air conditioner for every room in a
house
is a prime example of this.
Secondly
, inflation is another major cause which can
be attributed
to this phenomenon. Despite
working
moderately
, labors are unable to provide basic
living
necessities in their home.
Thus
, it is completely
clear
that
working
overtime is essential to cope up modern day requirements.

Nevertheless
, despite above compelling reasons, employers can take several steps to mitigate this problem. Increasing salaries could not
only
motivate staff
but
also
provide them opportunity to fulfill their basics of
living
without
working
extra hours.
Moreover
, managers could
allow
employees to work for limited hours in a week, in order to give them
some
leisure time to enjoy healthy pursuits.
For example
, dining outside with
family
after official
working
hours can act as a
stress
buster.
Therefore
, it is evident that corporations can
help
people
in reducing their workload.

In conclusion
, although high cost of products and desire to have most of them are the main causes, employers could increase salaries to
help
their team members
living
healthy life without being over burden at work.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Nowadays people are working too hard. What is the reason for that? What should employers do in order to prevent employees from this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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