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Nowadays people are working too hard, what is the reason for that. what should employers do to prevent people form this. v.1

Nowadays people are working too hard, what is the reason for that. what should employers do to prevent people form this. v. 1
People have started to work hard these day's. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with this approach of work. Since there has been an increase in competition among co-workers regarding the promotion and appraisals. These days, there is an unspoken rule about working extra hours so that an employee can show his manager that he is a hard working person and he deserves some sort of promotion. Because of this people have started to spend more than expected hours in office premises, most of them are just sitting their ideally and waiting for their bosses to see them working after hours. These people have completely devoured their personal life also. Another reason for working hard is appraisal's. This is the most important thing of an employee's life. Most of the employees are working hard just because they want a good appraisal. There is nothing bad about this sort of hard work. To stop employees exhausting themselves from work, employer's should take some serious action's. For example There can be fixed working hour's for a day, and exceeding those working hour's without a plausible cause can affect an employee's appraisal. Another thing that employer's can do is giving flexibility in work. Employer's should not give tight deadline's to employee's. Employer's can take their employee's on team lunches and dinner's where employee's can enjoy themselves. In conclusion, working hard is not a bad thing to do, but its effect on human health are dangerous. To avoid these circumstance's employer's should take care of their employee's.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
's. In my opinion, there is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
with this approach of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Since there has been an increase in competition among co-workers regarding the promotion and appraisals.

These days, there is an unspoken
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
extra hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that an employee can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
his manager that he is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
person and
he deserves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of promotion.
Because of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to spend more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
hours in office premises, most of them are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting their
ideally
and waiting for their bosses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
after hours. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have completely devoured their personal life
also
.

Another reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
is appraisal's. This is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee's
life. Most of the employees are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
appraisal. There is nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
about this sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
employees exhausting themselves from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer's
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious action's.
For example
There can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hour's for a day, and exceeding those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hour's without a plausible cause can affect an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee's
appraisal. Another thing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer's
can do is giving flexibility in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employer's
should not give tight deadline's to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee's
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employer's
can take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee's
on team lunches and
Consider using the plural form here: "dinners".
dinner's
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee's
can enjoy themselves.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing to do,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its effect on human health are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. To avoid these
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "circumstances"?
circumstance's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer's
should take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee's
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Nowadays people are working too hard, what is the reason for that. what should employers do to prevent people form this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
254 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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