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Nowadays people are working from home using computers and telephones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? v.2

Nowadays people are working from home using computers and telephones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? v. 2
People have different perspectives on whether working from home is beneficial or not. Some people think that working from home using computers and telephones is advantageous as a person can enjoy freedom and other benefits, whereas others opine that it has some drawbacks. In my opinion, this trend has both positive and negative aspects. There are definitely several advantages to working from home. Firstly, people can work independently as there is no one to supervise their work. Secondly, when people work from home, they do not have to adhere to fixed work hours. Rather they can choose hours convenient to them. Thirdly, working from home helps people to save time and travel expenses. In some major cities, the average commute takes two to three hours. People who work from home can save this time and spend it with their loved ones. Working from home has its downsides too. One possible drawback of working from home is that it does not develop a person’s team skills. In other words, sometimes a business issue can only be solved through team work and this is not possible when all employees work from home. Another issue of this culture is that a person will not develop people management skill which is the key to their promotion to managerial posts. Therefore, people who work from home have limited chances of growth within the organization. Distractions are another common problem. No matter how hard they try, people who work from home cannot work with full concentration because there will always be interference from family members. In conclusion, although there are several advantages to working from home, this culture does not allow people to develop their interpersonal and team skills.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives on whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home is beneficial or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home using computers and telephones is advantageous as a person can enjoy freedom and other benefits, whereas others opine that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. In my opinion, this trend has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.

There are definitely several advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
independently
as there is no one to supervise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Secondly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adhere to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hours.
Rather
they can choose hours convenient to them.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save time and travel expenses. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major cities, the average commute takes two to three hours.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home can save this time and spend it with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

Working from home has its downsides too. One possible drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home is that it does not develop a person’s team
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
In other words
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a business issue can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be solved
through team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and this is not possible when all employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home. Another issue of this culture is that a person will not develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
which is the key to their promotion to managerial posts.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home have limited chances of growth within the organization. Distractions are another common problem. No matter how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
they try,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with full concentration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there will always be interference from family members.

In conclusion
, although there are several advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home, this culture does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to develop their interpersonal and team
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays people are working from home using computers and telephones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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