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In the future it seems more difficult to live on the earth. More money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

In the future it seems more difficult to live on the earth. More money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. v. 1
Earth is the home for the human to live with, and animals and plants are also dependent on nature. However, it will be harder for us to survive on the Earth, due to the artificial destructions on the environment. Therefore, the investment in seeking other planets for our survival has recently been the subject of debate, and I partially disagree that we should spend more money on the research. Firstly, investigating suitable planets for our relocation requires numerous preparation works. For example, we still have no solutions on how a rocket can deliver us to another planet with light speed, nowadays. Instead of just waiting for the result on the current scientific difficulties on living in the universe, we could spend our money on the environmental conservation concurrently, such as planting more green plants and developing renewable energy systems. Since the environmental protection can speed up the recovery of nature, we could have more time to investigate on surviving in other planets, which are seen as our ultimate solution. On the other hand, some argue that moving to other spheres is the most convenient way for us to live in a comfortable environment with cherishing resources. Although it is undeniable that there could be some worlds containing sufficient resources, everyone has their responsibility on preserving their home planet – the Earth. Moreover, the history of destroying the Earth can also be repeated in other planets human immigrates. Therefore, in my opinion, we will trap ourselves in a planet immigration cycle if we are not aware of environmental protection. To conclude, I support that we should invest more in human relocation in the universe. Nevertheless, we should take our responsibilities for environmental conservation, instead of just keeping destroying our home, planet by planet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
is the home for the human to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with, and animals and plants are
also
dependent on nature.
However
, it will be harder for us to survive on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
, due to the artificial
Possible spelling mistake found.
destructions on
the environment.
Therefore
, the investment in seeking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
for our survival has recently been the subject of debate, and I
partially
disagree that we should spend more money on the research.

Firstly
, investigating suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
for our relocation requires numerous preparation works.
For example
, we
still
have no solutions on how a rocket can deliver us to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
with light speed, nowadays.
Instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
waiting for the result on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scientific difficulties on living in the universe, we could spend our money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
conservation
concurrently
, such as planting more green plants and developing renewable energy systems. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
speed up
the recovery of nature, we could have more time to investigate on surviving in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as our ultimate solution.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
spheres is the most convenient way for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a comfortable environment with cherishing resources. Although it is undeniable that there could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
worlds containing sufficient resources, everyone has their responsibility on preserving their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
.
Moreover
, the history of destroying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
can
also
be repeated
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
human immigrates.
Therefore
, in my opinion, we will trap ourselves in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
immigration cycle if we are not aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection.

To conclude
, I support that we should invest more in human relocation in the universe.
Nevertheless
, we should take our responsibilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
conservation,
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
keeping destroying our home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In the future it seems more difficult to live on the earth. More money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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