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Nowadays, people are spending increasingly large amounts of money on their marriage parties. Many people feel large and expensive weddings cause problems for the bride and groom. Do you agree? Use personal examples in your response. v.2

Nowadays, people are spending increasingly large amounts of money on their marriage parties. Many people feel large and expensive weddings cause problems for the bride and groom. Do you agree? Use personal examples in your response. v. 2
Nowadays, music is an important part of our life as always. There is a different kind of types a lot such as traditional and international music. People need to explain themselves and make them creative. This essay will explain in detail why needed music and the necessaries and differences of traditional and international melody. As a starting point of discussion, let us examine the needs that occur in the world. To begin with, it is very helpful in being creative because it affects to improve the mind. For instance, when people hear a song, they try to understand its lyrics and try to make out. Not only it, lets make people creative, but also a community expresses feelings and emotions. For example, when a person plays an instrument or listens to a song, it aids in the way of feelings. Those who listen to or play have distinct sorts of melody categories like traditional and international. Ethnic singing is typically anonymous that is an explanation of the life of a certain society while international soul defined as a general category for global. These two have diverse importance, for instance, whilst traditional gives us information about old and current communities, international shows the perspectives of modern lives. We cannot say that one of them has more importance. To wrap up, there are the main reasons why tune crucial. Furthermore, the traditional of countries have not more valuable than the international that is heard everywhere in today's world. We could take apart each of them.
Nowadays, music is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our life as always. There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of types a lot such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
music.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
themselves and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them creative. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in detail why needed music and the necessaries and differences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
melody.

As a starting point of discussion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us examine the needs that occur in the world. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful in being creative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it affects to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the mind.
For instance
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hear a song, they try to understand its lyrics and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
out. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
creative,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a community expresses feelings and emotions.
For example
, when a person plays an instrument or listens to a song, it aids in the way of feelings.

Those who listen to or play have distinct sorts of melody categories like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
. Ethnic singing is
typically
anonymous
that is
an explanation of the life of a certain society while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
soul defined as a general category for global. These two have diverse importance,
for instance
, whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
gives us information about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
communities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the perspectives of modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. We cannot say that one of them has more importance.

To wrap up, there are the main reasons why tune crucial.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
of countries have not more valuable than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
that
is heard
everywhere in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world. We could take apart each of them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Nowadays, people are spending increasingly large amounts of money on their marriage parties. Many people feel large and expensive weddings cause problems for the bride and groom. Do you agree? Use personal examples in your response. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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