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Nowadays, people are spending increasingly large amounts of money on their marriage parties. Many people feel large and expensive weddings cause problems for the bride and groom. Do you agree? Use personal examples in your response. v.1

Nowadays, people are spending increasingly large amounts of money on their marriage parties. Many people feel large and expensive weddings cause problems for the bride and groom. Do you agree? Use personal examples in your response. v. 1
Marrying couples often aspire to throw lavish wedding receptions with which to celebrate their union. However, often these parties carry with them a burden that newlyweds cannot comfortably bear. It is agreed that excessive spending on marriage celebrations can cause issues for new husbands and wives. This will be shown by analyzing how excessive matrimonial ceremonies can encumber newlyweds financially and cause the entire wedding gathering to be somewhat impersonal in nature. Firstly, many marrying couples often create problems for themselves when they spend beyond their means on their marriage reception. For example, some friends of mine in China borrowed an exorbitant amount of money to pay for a very large wedding they held several years ago. Acting in such a prodigal way meant that for the two years following their matrimony, these young people had to dedicate every last cent of their earnings to their debt. As this money could have been put towards building a better life for themselves, it is clear that problems can arise for people who spend extreme amounts on their weddings. In addition to this, huge weddings can cause a marriage reception to be impersonal in nature. For instance, I once attended a very large and extremely beautiful Iranian wedding. Although perhaps the most stunning matrimonial ceremony I have ever been to, the guest list was so large that I barely had a chance to give the bride and groom my wishes and meet their parents. These newlyweds later expressed their regret at not being able to mingle with their guests comfortably. As their experience shows, it is obvious that large weddings can cause problems for brides and grooms. Following this look, it has been proven that large and expensive wedding parties can incite issues for marrying couples. Although many marriage arrangements are culturally sensitive, it is hoped that modern couples weigh the pros and cons of throwing a lavish ceremony before deciding to do so.
Marrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
aspire to throw lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
receptions with which to celebrate their union.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
these parties carry with them a burden that newlyweds cannot
comfortably
bear. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that excessive spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
celebrations can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
issues for new husbands and wives. This will
be shown
by analyzing how excessive matrimonial ceremonies can encumber newlyweds
financially
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
gathering to be somewhat impersonal in nature.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
marrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
create problems for themselves when they spend beyond their means on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
reception.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
friends of mine in China borrowed an exorbitant amount of money to pay for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
they held several years ago. Acting in such a prodigal way meant that for the two years following their matrimony, these young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had to dedicate every last cent of their earnings to their debt. As this money could have
been put
towards building a better life for themselves, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that problems can arise for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who spend extreme amounts on their weddings.

In addition
to this, huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
reception to be impersonal in nature.
For instance
, I once attended a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
and
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
Iranian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
. Although perhaps the most stunning matrimonial ceremony I have ever been to, the guest list was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
that I
barely
had a chance to give the bride and groom my wishes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their parents. These newlyweds later expressed their regret at not being able to mingle with their guests
comfortably
. As their experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
problems for brides and grooms.

Following this look, it has
been proven
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
and expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
parties can incite issues for marrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
arrangements are
culturally
sensitive, it
is hoped
that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
weigh the pros and cons of throwing a lavish ceremony
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Nowadays, people are spending increasingly large amounts of money on their marriage parties. Many people feel large and expensive weddings cause problems for the bride and groom. Do you agree? Use personal examples in your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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