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Describe a piece of art you like. You should say what the work of art iswhen you first saw itwhat you know about it v.1

Describe a piece of art you like. You should say what the work of art iswhen you first saw itwhat you know about it v. 1
It's commonly argued that countries should improve educational majors than on recreational and sports activities. I disagree with considering sports and recreational fields less important to be invested on compering to education. This essay is going to discuss how fitness and creativity meant to be part of the fundamental education system and the importance of both aspects to well present our countries to the world. Game and recreation should be considered along with the educational system, universities and schools encouraged to provide more lessons in these regards, the reason behind that is people can get specialist by graduating from these specific majors, pastime and recreational activities can be taught and presented with specific curriculum, many athletes rewarded with medals based on their successfulness in a certain type of fun, for example Mohammed Ali Klay was one of the famous and successful person who took boxing as hobby a career to build upon. There are other benefits of investing in such fields, as there are enormous and variety competitive athletics games and creative shows, which are created on the participant base to allow different specialized people to be part of. Empowering young people to gain experience and skills in those fields can have a significant positive effect on their countries, in the other words, they can build up a reputation about their country and its improved systems, therefore attracting tourists and students and other investment form the whole world. In conclusion, government is encouraged to allocate from its budget to improve the educational system, as well as leisure and competitive sport games, we can't deny the benefits that brings to our country.
It's
commonly
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
educational majors than on recreational and sports activities. I disagree with considering sports and recreational fields less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
be invested
on
Did you mean the verb "comparing" or the noun "compèring" (master of ceremonies)?
compering
to education. This essay is going to discuss how fitness and creativity meant to be part of the fundamental education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
and the importance of both aspects to well present our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to the world.

Game and recreation should
be considered
along with the educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, universities and schools encouraged to provide more lessons in these regards, the reason behind
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
specialist by graduating from these specific majors, pastime and recreational activities can
be taught
and presented with specific curriculum,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
athletes rewarded with medals based on their successfulness in a certain type of fun,
for example
Mohammed Ali
Possible spelling mistake found.
Klay
was one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and successful person who took boxing as hobby a career to build upon.

There are other benefits of investing in such fields, as there are enormous and variety competitive athletics games and creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, which
are created
on the participant base to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
specialized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be part of. Empowering young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to gain experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in those fields can have a significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, in the other words, they can build up a reputation about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
,
therefore
attracting tourists and students and other investment form the whole world.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is encouraged
to allocate from its budget to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
,
as well
as leisure and competitive sport games, we can't deny the benefits that brings to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Describe a piece of art you like. You should say what the work of art iswhen you first saw itwhat you know about it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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