Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Opening a new place such as shopping malls, food courts, or recreational areas brings several changes to the community. These businesses can be an underlying cause of the prosperity for any given society. Inaugurating a new restaurant in my neighborhood w v.1

Opening a new place such as shopping malls, food courts, or recreational areas brings several changes to the community. These businesses can be an underlying cause of the prosperity for any given society. Inaugurating a new restaurant in my neighborhood w v. 1
Each workplace has its own values. While some prefer well-dressed employees, others prefer their performance at work. This essay will show why both points of view exist and, in the end, why I think the quality of work should prevail over appearance. The way you dress can have a huge impact depending on where you work. Two relevant examples will be studied. First of all, if you enter a beauty salon for instance, you expect to be welcomed by people who spend time taking care of themselves. Otherwise it could have a negative impact on the company’s image in the long term. Secondly, people who represent an institution must set an example and be looked up to, especially if their image is to be broadcasted and viewed by many other countries. However, some jobs do not require any contact between employees and customers, such as working in a call centre. When you can only be heard but not seen, the way you dress is no longer critical for work. Moreover, even when your job requires you to meet people, as in a doctor-patient situation, there is no doubt that all parties will prefer a professional doctor over a well-dressed doctor. In conclusion, as long as the way you dress does not harm the organisation, the performance of your work should be highlighted. Whenever possible, the uniform could be an answer to this dilemma for some organisations, as it ensures the presentability of a person while focusing on his or her performance.
Each workplace has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
values. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prefer well-dressed employees, others prefer their performance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
why both points of view exist and, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should prevail over appearance.

The way you dress can have a huge impact depending on where you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Two relevant examples will
be studied
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if you enter a beauty salon
for instance
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
be welcomed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who spend time taking care of themselves.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
it could have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s image in the long term.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who represent an institution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
set an example and
be looked
up to,
especially
if their image is to
be broadcasted
and viewed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other countries.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs do not require any contact between employees and customers, such as working in a call
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. When you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be heard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, the way you dress is no longer critical for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
, even when your job requires you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, as in a doctor-patient situation, there is no doubt that all parties will prefer a professional doctor over a well-dressed doctor.

In conclusion
, as long as the way you dress does not harm the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, the performance of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should
be highlighted
. Whenever possible, the uniform could be an answer to this dilemma for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
, as it ensures the
Possible spelling mistake found.
presentability
of a person while focusing on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
performance.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Opening a new place such as shopping malls, food courts, or recreational areas brings several changes to the community. These businesses can be an underlying cause of the prosperity for any given society. Inaugurating a new restaurant in my neighborhood w v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts