Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays people are influenced by fashion, in particular when choosing their clothes and hairstyle. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience. v.1

Nowadays people are influenced by fashion, in particular when choosing their clothes and hairstyle. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1
Some people believe that education across all levels depends on teaching laws and facts, not learning how to become professional in a career pathway after graduating. In my point of view, there are many years in schools are being spent on useless matters rather than effective intellectual skills. The reasons for my notion will be discussed in the following lines with supporting examples. Some pieces of information may be unprofitable in learning if they do not help in developing interpersonal skills in a student. Worthless subjects are studied about the detailed anatomy of the human body without more caring about how to be a professional surgeon and making vital surgeries. Faculty of medicine is a remarkable example of my belief, where a plethora of necessary talents is learnt after graduation. Old facts are not as indispensable as needed interpersonal skills which has a main rule in working. Another reason for my idea is hard subjects that can be frustrating for some students. Memorizing much information can be more difficult for a talented inventor or writer. This is exemplified by Einstein, who was on of the greatest inventors in the last century. He has been dismissed from primary school where his teacher thought that Einstein was a foolish pupil who cannot learn like other students. This situation proves that exams in schools test the ability of memorization not talents that could have led to many inventions by Einstein. In conclusion, some studied subjects in schools do not have an effective rule in training pupils how to be an essential part of the society. However, required expertise is learnt in viable life. Added to that, exams are a frustrating tool that could lead to frustration in talented persons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that education across all levels depends on teaching laws and facts, not learning how to become professional in a career pathway after graduating. In my point of view, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
being spent
on useless matters
rather
than effective intellectual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. The reasons for my notion will
be discussed
in the following lines with supporting examples.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
pieces of information may be unprofitable in learning if they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in developing interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in a student. Worthless subjects
are studied
about the detailed anatomy of the human body without more caring about how to be a professional surgeon and making vital surgeries. Faculty of medicine is a remarkable example of my belief, where a plethora of necessary talents is
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
after graduation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
facts are not as indispensable as needed interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which has a main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
in working.

Another reason for my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
subjects that can be frustrating for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students. Memorizing much information can be more difficult for a talented inventor or writer. This
is exemplified
by Einstein, who was
Did you mean "one"?
on
of the greatest inventors in the last century. He has
been dismissed
from primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
where his teacher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that Einstein was a foolish pupil who cannot learn like other students. This situation proves that exams in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
the ability of memorization not talents that could have led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
inventions by Einstein.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
studied subjects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do not have an effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
in training pupils how to be an essential part of the society.
However
, required expertise is
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
in viable life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
to that, exams are a frustrating tool that could lead to frustration in talented persons.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays people are influenced by fashion, in particular when choosing their clothes and hairstyle. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts