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Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? v.2

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? v. 2
It is true that children have overly enforced from the parents to achieve success in their life. There are several reasons for such approach of parents, which on the whole, I consider to be very negative. Most parents have too much concern about the future career of their offspring. They think that being a successful person will bring a lot of opportunities for children. For example, most parents expect their children would become a doctor or engineer, and they can secure future jobs. As a result, children performance at school would be the main focus of parents to assess them and keep them in enormous study timetable to achieve higher exam score. Therefore, the wariness of better future might lead the forcible attitude of parents to their offspring. However, I would argue that the above development has harmful effects on children. It can be both depressive and discouraging. Many parents tend to engage their children only for future achievements, and they omit the entertainment part of the youngsters. This could affect their mental wellbeing and cause of psychological sufferings. A recent survey shows that in Bangladesh, 20% of children suffer from various mental disorders due to lack of recreation. Similarly, rapid pressures from parents for same activities can raise procrastination on children, which might be obstacles to learn new skills. Thus, enforcing children to succeed could be detrimental for children’s mental developments. In conclusion, though enforcement of parents might help to gain success of children, I believe that this could be psychologically disadvantageous for them.
It is true that
children
have
overly
enforced from the
parents
to achieve success in their life. There are several reasons for such approach of
parents
, which
on the whole
, I consider to be
very
negative
.

Most
parents
have too much concern about the
future
career of their offspring. They
think
that being a successful person will bring
a lot of
opportunities for
children
.
For example
, most
parents
expect
their
children
would become a doctor or engineer, and they can secure
future
jobs.
As a result
,
children
performance at school would be the main focus of
parents
to assess them and
keep
them in enormous study timetable to achieve higher exam score.
Therefore
, the wariness of better
future
might lead the forcible attitude of
parents
to their offspring.

However
, I would argue that the above development has harmful effects on
children
. It can be both depressive and discouraging.
Many
parents
tend to engage their
children
only
for
future
achievements, and they omit the entertainment part of the youngsters. This could affect their mental
wellbeing
and cause of psychological sufferings. A recent survey
shows
that in Bangladesh, 20% of
children
suffer from various mental disorders due to lack of recreation.
Similarly
, rapid pressures from
parents
for same activities can raise procrastination on
children
, which might be obstacles to learn new
skills
.
Thus
, enforcing
children
to succeed could be detrimental for
children’s
mental developments.

In conclusion
, though enforcement of
parents
might
help
to gain success of
children
, I believe that this could be
psychologically
disadvantageous for them.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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