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Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance at school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child. Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school? What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child’s education? v.2

Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance at school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child. Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school? What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child’s education? v. 2
The most controversial topic related to parenting is that some children are not given any encouragement to perform well in the school, whereas some are put under too much pressure from their parents. Both of these situations can impact a child negatively. I think that it is very important for parents to balance out their inputs. To commence with, parents put too much pressure on the kids because they want them to succeed. According to most of them, if a child performs well in school, there are higher chances of them to attain success. Most of them even forget the importance of knowledge acquisition in comparison to good grades. Furthermore, parents often turn over enthusiastic because of the social burden. The competition in the family circle is outgrown by the parents, which in turn, they transfer to their children. For instance, many parents are seen bragging about their child's accomplishments in the family parties. On the other hand, I believe that parents play an important role in the education of a kid and this duty starts on the day of the birth. Parents are the first teachers of their kids. They teach the lessons of morality and discipline. For example, in India, the parents teach their kids to help older people while crossing the road. In addition to this, they help students with their homework, understanding any math problem, which they find difficult. They should teach kids to handle the real life circumstances. To conclude, parents put too much burden on their kids, to ensure that their kids will attain success. This can have a very negative impact on the kid's mental health. To motivate a student to perform well, the encouragement without any pressure from the parents is needed.
The most controversial topic related to parenting is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
any encouragement to perform well in the school, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "ares"?
are
put under too much pressure from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Both of these situations can impact a child
negatively
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to balance out their inputs.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
put too much pressure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want them to succeed. According to most of them, if a child performs well in school, there are higher chances of them to attain success. Most of them even forget the importance of knowledge acquisition
in comparison
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
turn over enthusiastic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the social burden. The competition in the family circle is outgrown by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, which in turn, they transfer to their children.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
bragging about their child's accomplishments in the family parties.

On the other hand
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the education of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
and this duty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
on the day of the birth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are the
first
teachers of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. They teach the lessons of morality and discipline.
For example
, in India, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
while crossing the road.
In addition
to this, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students with their homework, understanding any math problem, which they find difficult. They should teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to handle the real life circumstances.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
put too much burden on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, to ensure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
will attain success. This can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the kid's mental health. To motivate a student to perform well, the encouragement without any pressure from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is needed
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance at school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child. Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school? What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child’s education? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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