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Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? v.1

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? v. 1
Indeed, children these days are being pressurized by their parents to be victorious. Is this beneficial? While there are various reasons for them to persuade, this has, in fact, emerged into cynical development. To begin with, as there is a tremendous increase in technology, everyone’s life has been exposed. Because of this, there has been a sense of urgency created to showcase their achievements to grab the social attention. This would in turn give them immense name and fame. Moreover, parents are very much aware of the rapidly increasing competition among individuals which, therefore, develops an eagerness among the couple to force their young one’s to excel in every contest. Besides, they do not allow the youngsters to pursue their career as per their interest; instead oblige to follow their path, due to which their interest deteriorates. However, such kind of behavior towards the youngsters could produce undesirable results, which turn out to be negative development in the long run. Despite this, while in the race to be exceptional in every field, they develop an aggressive nature among themselves which could be horrendous. This would, unlikely, create hatred and selfishness generating an unhealthy rivalry among students. Although the school going children strive hard to achieve their goal, the fear of losing makes their mind disturbed due to which their health conditions diminish. As per the survey reported by Times Now, the number of suicides reported among children was because of not achieving the desired marks. Subsequently, this has brought refute results. In conclusion, although there are many reasons to support their stand, the final outcome by parent has always brought a negative impact on the adolescents.
Indeed
, children these days are
being pressurized
by their parents to be victorious. Is this beneficial? While there are various reasons for them to persuade, this has, in fact, emerged into cynical development.

To
begin
with, as there is a tremendous increase in technology, everyone’s life has
been exposed
.
Because of this
, there has been a sense of urgency created to showcase their achievements to grab the social attention. This would in turn give them immense name and fame.
Moreover
, parents are
very
much aware of the
rapidly
increasing competition among individuals which,
therefore
, develops an eagerness among the couple to force their young one’s to excel in every contest.
Besides
, they do not
allow
the youngsters to pursue their career as per their interest;
instead
oblige to follow their path, due to which their interest deteriorates.

However
, such kind of behavior towards the youngsters could produce undesirable results, which turn out to be
negative
development in the long run. Despite this, while in the race to be exceptional in every field, they develop an aggressive nature among themselves which could be horrendous. This would, unlikely, create hatred and selfishness generating an unhealthy rivalry among students. Although the school going children strive
hard
to achieve their goal, the fear of losing
makes
their mind disturbed due to which their health conditions diminish. As per the survey reported by Times
Now
, the number of suicides reported among children was
because
of not achieving the desired marks.
Subsequently
, this has brought refute results.

In conclusion
, although there are
many
reasons to support their stand, the final outcome by parent has always brought a
negative
impact on the adolescents.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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