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Nowadays parents put too much pressure on the children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this. Is this a negative or positive development v.2

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on the children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this. Is this a negative or positive development v. 2
With the advent of globalisation, it revolutionised the human existence. No doubt, it changed the life of the people but because of this, a lot of complaints are coming specially from children. As, their parents more emphasis on them and pressuring them to get success. There are some reasons, which are the main cause of uprooting the problem. I will portray its factors and effects in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, there are umpteen reasons, which are the main cause of this. The predominant reason, in the fast pace of life, it is not easy to earn bread and butter, Because of the competitive era. Everyone is in the race of out do others, so that they show their superiority throughout the world and conquer on the people with their power. Due to this, parent more emphasis on their wards to make sure their break through by pressurise them to do hard work. So, they can become diligent in their life and able to combat with the situation in the future. Indeed, they are making their pupils future secure and ready them for the future hurdles. As far as my views are concerned it as a positive facts in children growth but sometimes it would put detrimental effects. If, in their failure in their pursuit of getting success, often leads them to this contentment and dejection And they find themselves misfit in their world. Far is task, according to a survey, a section of the youth, unable to cope with the high expectation of their loving one. Due to this, they seek a temporary escape from the rigours of life, opt to either end their lives or experiments with drugs. To recapitulate, everyone has their own views, I do not deny any of them but I deem, it is good thing of parents as they rescue their children from the future hurdles by making sure their success. However, I cogitate that they should not put too much pressure on their words, which can ruin their whole life. Now what is parents put too much pressure on the children to
With the advent of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, it
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
the human existence. No doubt, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
because of this
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
complaints are coming
specially
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. As, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
more emphasis on them and pressuring them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, which are the main cause of uprooting the problem. I will portray its factors and effects in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are umpteen reasons, which are the main cause of this. The predominant reason, in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it is not easy to earn bread and butter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the competitive era. Everyone is in the race of out do others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their superiority throughout the world and conquer on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with their power. Due to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
more emphasis on their wards to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure their break through by
Possible spelling mistake. 'pressurise' is British English.
pressurise
them to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can become diligent in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and able to combat with the situation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Indeed
, they are making their pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
secure and ready them for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
hurdles.

As far as my views
are concerned
it as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
facts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it would put detrimental effects. If, in their failure in their pursuit of getting success,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads them to this contentment and dejection And they find themselves misfit in their world. Far is task, according to a survey, a section of the youth, unable to cope with the high expectation of their loving one. Due to this, they seek a temporary escape from the
Possible spelling mistake. 'rigours' is British English.
rigours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, opt to either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
or experiments with drugs.

To recapitulate, everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
views, I do not deny any of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I deem, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as they rescue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
hurdles by making sure their success.
However
, I cogitate that they should not put too much pressure on their words, which can ruin their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
put too much pressure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays parents put too much pressure on the children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this. Is this a negative or positive development v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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