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Nowadays, parents are sending their children on trips abroad for educational purposes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v.3

Nowadays, parents are sending their children on trips abroad for educational purposes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 3
Parents are giving more focus on their child’s education. Although, some parents are allowing for their children to participate in the trips to the abroad, which is good for the study purpose. The essay will discuss this way of education, having positive and negative points. To begin with, one of the important benefits of visiting the other countries for the educational purpose is that provides the opportunity to increase their growth in a particular area. This will provide an atmosphere in terms of persons having the same interest in a topic, they can start to work together and use their knowledge to find the new things. For example, many students from India go the USA where they get a better resource which provides the way to work on their research. Moreover, if children visit the other country in early age, then they can get an idea about the entire world and learns the skill how to deal with people from different culture and society. On the other hand, travelling to the abroad, will some demerits affect the children and parents as well. Firstly, children who, plan to visit the other nation must deal with the language barrier. They should learn the language otherwise it would be difficult for them to survive and study there. For instance, person coming from India, must, have to learn English to communicate people in Canada. Furthermore, the person must deal with different temperature; most of the foreign country having cold atmosphere, then in India. It would be difficult to live in such cold place. In conclusion, while visiting the foreign country increase the knowledge give the opportunity to learn a new skill and culture, but has to deal with the language and atmosphere problems. The government can also start an awareness program to promote this activity.
Parents are giving more focus on their child’s education. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents are allowing for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to participate in the trips to the abroad, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the study purpose. The essay will discuss this way of education, having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefits of visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for the educational purpose is that provides the opportunity to increase their growth in a particular area. This will provide an atmosphere in terms of persons having the same interest in a topic, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to work together and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their knowledge to find the new things.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students from India go the USA where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better resource which provides the way to work on their research.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in early age, then they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the entire world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learns
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture and society.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, travelling to the abroad, will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and parents
as well
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who, plan to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
with the language barrier. They should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the language
otherwise
it would be difficult for them to survive and study there.
For instance
, person coming from India,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
English to communicate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Canada.
Furthermore
, the person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
temperature; most of the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
atmosphere, then in India. It would be difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
place.

In conclusion
, while visiting the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
increase the knowledge give the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and culture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deal
with the language and atmosphere problems. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
an awareness program to promote this activity.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, parents are sending their children on trips abroad for educational purposes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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