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Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v.10

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v. 10
In the todays world, finding the perfect and suitable position plays a crucial role in everyone's life. While most of the people say a good employment can be achieved by getting a graduation from university, Others say that it can obviously be gained through the experience of working after completing the school. This essay will discuss both the sides as higher studies give better knowledge in a particular area, alternately doing job gives the real time exposure of the situation. On one hand, Pursuing their academics in the varsity gives them the better knowledge as well as letting them get hands-on in fields in which they want to on the career. By this particular method the universities follow, companies will come forward show interest to offer jobs to these candidates. For instance, Students who got passed out top most universities are getting higher paid and have settled career. In addition to this, having an academic background from higher level educational institution, not only gives good work, but also a struggle free life. On the other hand, Getting a work position after the school education is also a good option as it will give the ongoing exposure as well as growth in their future prospects. This is because doing a particular profession from the early life makes an individual to learn everything from ground level and that results in hands on knowledge in field from bottom to top. For example, an employee joined as the cleaning staff in a coffee shop and gets gradually promoted and becomes a manager has experience of end to end process which benefits a lot to him. Furthermore this will give ample of confidence to take any kind of challenges in the future regarding his career. Finally, both having the high level education benefits to have perfect idea and to get expertise, thereby helps to posses a perfect job. While possessing a profession right after school education also can get a suitable job as this increases the real time experience.
In the
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world, finding the perfect and suitable position plays a crucial role in everyone's life. While most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
employment can
be achieved
by getting a graduation from university, Others say that it can
obviously
be gained
through the experience of working after completing the school. This essay will discuss both the sides as higher studies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
better knowledge in a particular area,
alternately
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
the real time exposure of the situation.

On one hand, Pursuing their academics in the varsity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
them the better knowledge
as well
as letting them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hands-on in fields in which they want to on the career. By this particular method the universities follow,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
interest to offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to these candidates.
For instance
, Students who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Did you mean "past"?
passed
out top most universities are getting higher paid and have settled career.
In addition
to this, having an academic background from higher level educational institution, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a struggle free life.

On the other hand
, Getting a work position after the school education is
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option as it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
the ongoing exposure
as well
as growth in their future prospects. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
doing a particular profession from the early life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an individual to learn everything from ground level and that results in hands on knowledge in field from bottom to top.
For example
, an employee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
as the cleaning staff in a coffee shop and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
gradually
promoted and becomes a manager has experience of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
process which benefits a lot to him.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
ample of confidence to take any kind of challenges in the future regarding his career.

Finally
, both having the high level education benefits to have perfect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
expertise, thereby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to posses a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. While possessing a profession right after school education
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as this increases the real time experience.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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