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Nowadays, not many students are choosing to study science subject in some countries. What are reasons for their choice? What will be effects on their society? v.1

Nowadays, not many students are choosing to study science subject in some countries. What are reasons for their choice? What will be effects on their society? v. 1
It has been argued by many that there is a rising trend among young individuals to enjoy more time with the friends instead of the family members. The main reason behind this behaviour is that the parents are so much busy in their routine that they don't spend time with their children. In my opinion, instead of forcing the youngsters to get involved in the home affairs, it's the duty of elders to spare time for their families and make friendly atmosphere in the home. On the one hand, the life has become so fast these days that the earning members are round the clock busy in their routine and this has created a gap between them and their young ones. Firstly, the elderly people get involved in the office affairs so much that they neglect their siblings. Secondly, the new generation builds new connections in the schools and playgrounds. Moreover, online video games and social media have also played a role in this by increasing the connectivity. For instance, a recent study of 2018 has revealed that about 76% of the kids have lost interest in the family affairs in the USA. On the other hand, an awareness campaign has to be launched to guide the guardians to enhance their interaction with the child. They have to be realised that the social well being of the family members is also their responsibility. Furthermore, by making close ties they can keep an eye on the activities of the kid. So, all this is possible only by more interaction and healthy environment, instead of being harsh with them. For example, the same concept has been taught these days in the educational institutes of the Finland. To conclude, I believe that if we want to make our next generation as effective members of the society, then we have to strengthen our bondages.
It has
been argued
by
many
that there is a rising trend among young individuals to enjoy more time with the friends
instead
of the
family
members
. The main reason behind this
behaviour
is that the parents are
so
much busy in their routine that they don't spend time with their children. In my opinion,
instead
of forcing the youngsters to
get
involved in the home affairs, it's the duty of elders to spare time for their
families
and
make
friendly atmosphere in the home.

On the one hand, the life has become
so
fast
these days that the earning
members
are round the clock busy in their routine and this has created a gap between them and their young ones.
Firstly
, the elderly
people
get
involved in the office affairs
so
much that they neglect their siblings.
Secondly
, the new generation builds new connections in the schools and playgrounds.
Moreover
, online video games and social media have
also
played a role in this by increasing the connectivity.
For instance
, a recent study of 2018 has revealed that about 76% of the kids have lost interest in the
family
affairs in the USA.

On the other hand
, an awareness campaign
has to
be launched
to guide the guardians to enhance their interaction with the child. They
have to
be
realised
that the social
well being
of the
family
members
is
also
their responsibility.
Furthermore
, by making close ties they can
keep
an eye on the activities of the kid.
So
, all this is possible
only
by more interaction and healthy environment,
instead
of being harsh with them.
For example
, the same concept has
been taught
these days in the educational institutes of the Finland.

To conclude
, I believe that if we want to
make
our
next
generation as effective
members
of the society, then we
have to
strengthen our
bondages
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, not many students are choosing to study science subject in some countries. What are reasons for their choice? What will be effects on their society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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