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It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society? v.1

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society? v. 1
It is noticeable that students in some parts of the world decide not to pursue degrees in a cluster of science programs. The trend is attributed to a range of reasons, and there are repercussions of this trend in society. There are a variety of obstacles that discourage students from majoring in science. The main obstacle is a high difficulty of the science courses. By enrolling in the science programs, students are expected to demonstrate great levels of critical and analytical thinking to fully comprehend abstract concepts and theories, causing a lot of students to find it hard to follow and struggle to pass exams and tests. Another obstacle, from a technological perspective, is that old-fashioned technology equipment in laboratory is unlikely to accommodate the scope of modern science courses. This disadvantage eventually causes a big hurdle for course instructors to implant knowledge and for students to have favorable learning experiences. As a result, a decreasing number of science students have many adverse impacts on society. Due to the shortage of science students attending post-secondary institutions, the number of technology innovations released on an annual basis may witness a drop as well. This unfortunate event will inadvertently leave the problems that have yet to be solved to remain unsolved, thus affecting the lives of people. For example, without the sustainable supply of technology solutions to automate the task of harvesting crops, agricultural productivity is at risk of being on the decline. Likewise, in the business environment where tasks need to be quickly conducted, the deficiency of highly productive software applications and laptops will cause the workflow to experience unexpected delays. In conclusion, the fact that students pursuing other programs apart from science could be owing to numerous reasons, and this trend could potentially hurt business and the economy.
It is noticeable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the world decide not to pursue degrees in a cluster of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
programs. The trend
is attributed
to a range of reasons, and there are repercussions of this trend in society.

There are a variety of obstacles that discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from majoring in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. The main obstacle is a high difficulty of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
courses. By enrolling in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
programs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to demonstrate great levels of critical and analytical thinking to
fully
comprehend abstract concepts and theories, causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to follow and struggle to pass exams and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
. Another obstacle, from a technological perspective, is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned technology equipment in laboratory is unlikely to accommodate the scope of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
courses. This disadvantage
eventually
causes a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hurdle for course instructors to implant knowledge and for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have favorable learning experiences.

As a result
, a decreasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adverse impacts on society. Due to the shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
attending post-secondary institutions, the number of technology innovations released on an annual basis may witness a drop
as well
. This unfortunate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
will
inadvertently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the problems that have
yet
to
be solved
to remain unsolved,
thus
affecting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, without the sustainable supply of technology solutions to automate the task of harvesting crops, agricultural productivity is at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of being on the decline.
Likewise
, in the business environment where tasks need to be
quickly
conducted, the deficiency of
highly
productive software applications and laptops will cause the workflow to experience unexpected delays.

In conclusion
, the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
pursuing other programs apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
could be owing to numerous reasons, and this trend could
potentially
hurt business and the economy.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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