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Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v.8

Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v. 8
It is a view of many people that in order to save nature from emissions, the price of fuel should be increased to minimize the use of cars and motorbikes. I completely agree that imposing taxes or raise the prices of fuel is an optimal solution by promoting other available resources for traveling with minimum carbon footprint to enhance environmental conditions. Firstly, transport is an essential part of urban life, and inconvenient or lengthy journeys are frustrating for those concerned. Furthermore, people tend to travel long distances for work or leisure, as we see in most metropolitan cities such as Karachi or Lahore, where too many vehicles use the existing road network, and congestion is inevitable. Consequently, many conurbations also lack finance for transport-hubs such as integrated road and rail facilities which could facilitate people with public-transport, hopefully leading to an absence of problems such as bottlenecks and carbon emissions. This could easily be tackled with imposing taxes and regulations on fuel, especially for private vehicles so that the state could utilize that income for building infrastructure as was applied successfully in Turkey during the 1990s. Lastly, with less cars on the roads, the would be a decrease in hazardous gases, which would lessen the burden for healthcare systems, dealing with the patients with respiratory diseases. In addition to that, minimum drivers on the roads mean less chances of accidents, leading to convenience and stress-free travelling for most of the people. For instance, in most western countries, the high prices of taxi fares encourage people to travel in public buses which promotes green environmental conditions. In conclusion, while high prices of petrol might facilitate people who can actually afford comfort, the people with the least resources could take more advantage of state-sponsored public buses and save a significant money on their health and transport.
It is a view of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that in order to save nature from emissions, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of fuel should
be increased
to minimize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cars and motorbikes. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that imposing taxes or raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of fuel is an optimal solution by promoting other available resources for traveling with minimum carbon footprint to enhance environmental conditions.

Firstly
, transport is an essential part of urban life, and inconvenient or lengthy journeys are frustrating for those concerned.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to travel long distances for work or leisure, as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in most metropolitan cities such as Karachi or Lahore, where too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
network, and congestion is inevitable.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conurbations
also
lack finance for transport-hubs such as integrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
and rail facilities which could facilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with public-transport,
hopefully
leading to an absence of problems such as bottlenecks and carbon emissions. This could
easily
be tackled
with imposing taxes and regulations on fuel,
especially
for private vehicles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the state could utilize that income for building infrastructure as
was applied
successfully
in Turkey during the 1990s.

Lastly
, with
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun cars is countable.
less
cars on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
,
Did you mean "they", "that" or "there"?
the
would be a decrease in hazardous gases, which would lessen the burden for healthcare systems, dealing with the patients with respiratory diseases.
In addition
to that, minimum drivers on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
mean
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances of accidents, leading to convenience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free travelling for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, in most western countries, the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of taxi fares encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel in public buses which promotes green environmental conditions.

In conclusion
, while high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of petrol might facilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can actually afford comfort, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the least resources could take more advantage of state-sponsored public buses and save
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "significant money".
a significant money
on their health and transport.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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