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The bar chart shows active participation rates in top ten sports in Canada in 1998 and 2005Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The bar chart shows active participation rates in top ten sports in Canada in 1998 and 2005
Science has explored in ways to prolong human life to a century and even more, and this situation has triggered some disagreement in a society that truly believe it will become a problem in the future. I personally disagree with the fact that human life expectancy has lengthened and this essay will explain my hesitation. First of all, having many generations living together may give a happiness to a certain extent. For example, some families are joyful that they could celebrate their great grandparent’s three digit birthday. Secondly, it is a blessing to have such a long life journey in this world. Not to mention the happiness of being able to play with their great grandchildren. Additionally, based on social experiment that was done in Singapore earlier this year, elderly is happiest when they are surrounded by toddlers and vice versa. On the flip hand, this stretch of age comes with a higher price tag if the person did not pursue a healthy lifestyle in the beginning stage of their life. Therefore, more assistance might be needed to take care of them. In reality, not many young families have the time and patience to look after for their elderly relatives. Thus, it is becoming more of an additional burden to them to carry. For this reason, the aging person may be falling into anxiety or depression. In conclusion, science has made it possible to boost for life expectancy and some community sees this as a chance to be grateful as more happy memories could be created. However, older age come with physical and mental health challenge. As a youngster myself, we tend to ignore our aged family member, especially when they need special care. It is becoming more of a bitter pill to swallow for both generations.
Science has explored in ways to prolong human
life
to a century and even more, and this situation has triggered
some
disagreement in a society that
truly
believe it will become a problem in the future. I
personally
disagree with the fact that
human
life
expectancy has lengthened and this essay will
explain
my hesitation.

First of all
, having
many
generations living together may give a happiness to a certain extent.
For example
,
some
families are joyful that they could celebrate their great grandparent’s three digit birthday.
Secondly
, it is a blessing to have such a long
life
journey in this world. Not to mention the happiness of being able to play with their great grandchildren.
Additionally
, based on social experiment that
was done
in Singapore earlier this year, elderly is happiest when they
are surrounded
by toddlers and vice versa.

On the flip hand, this stretch of age
comes
with a higher price tag if the person did not pursue a healthy lifestyle in the beginning stage of their
life
.
Therefore
, more assistance might
be needed
to take care of them. In reality, not
many
young families have the time and patience to look after for their elderly relatives.
Thus
, it is becoming more of an additional burden to them to carry.
For this reason
, the aging person may be falling into anxiety or depression.

In conclusion
, science has made it possible to boost for
life
expectancy and
some
community
sees
this as a chance to be grateful as more happy memories could
be created
.
However
, older age
come
with physical and mental health challenge. As a youngster myself, we tend to
ignore
our aged family member,
especially
when they need special care. It is becoming more of a bitter pill to swallow for both generations.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The bar chart shows active participation rates in top ten sports in Canada in 1998 and 2005

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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