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Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinions v.1

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. 1
Offering rewards to good scorers is one of incentive programs which schools often launch after examination to motivate students. However, there is a suggestion that moderate achievers are worth being encouraged for their own endeavor, instead of STRAIGHT A STUDENTS. From my point of view, young learners, in any circumstance, should be deserved well as long as they are improving little by little. The first reason is that this may cause mental illness to lower achievers, if their EFFORTS ARE UNAPPRECIATED. For example, a student is likely to suffer from negative mood such as FEELING INFERIOR or envious when he realizes that no matter how he attempts, he is just like a RUNNER-UP IN TOURNAMENTS. Therefore, it is necessary to pay compliments as well as monetary rewards to students even though their achievements are junior. Not only will this inspire learners to be more creative in their studies, but also it creates equity in schools where each personal value needs acknowledging. On the other hand, without incentive grants for high-scorers, they would lack motivation to step further as a foreseen outcome. In the long run, this may lead to BRAIN DRAIN referring to the emigration of intellectuals to other nations for better study environment. Apart from these, praising high-scorers is the positive way to SET SHINING EXAMPLES for weaker students, which NURTURES HEALTHY COMPETITION in today schools. As a result, unless they do their best, they would find it hard to keep up with their peers. In conclusion, I contend that any personal improvement, if modest, should be appreciated. More importantly, giving rewards needs to be due and well-prepared in order that each receiver realizes they should move forward, rather than being satisfied with achievements recorded.
Offering rewards to
good
scorers is one of incentive programs which schools
often
launch after examination to motivate
students
.
However
, there is a suggestion that moderate achievers are worth
being encouraged
for their
own
endeavor,
instead
of STRAIGHT A
STUDENTS
. From my point of view, young learners, in any circumstance, should
be deserved
well as long as they are improving
little
by
little
.

The
first
reason is that this may cause mental illness to lower achievers, if their EFFORTS
ARE UNAPPRECIATED
.
For example
, a
student
is likely to suffer from
negative
mood such as FEELING INFERIOR or envious when he realizes that no matter how he attempts, he is
just
like a RUNNER-UP IN TOURNAMENTS.
Therefore
, it is necessary to pay compliments
as well
as monetary rewards to
students
even though
their achievements are junior. Not
only
will this inspire learners to be more creative in their studies,
but
also
it creates equity in schools where each personal value needs acknowledging.

On the other hand
, without incentive grants for high-scorers, they would lack motivation to step
further
as a foreseen outcome. In the long run, this may lead to BRAIN DRAIN referring to the emigration of intellectuals to other nations for better study environment. Apart from these, praising high-scorers is the
positive
way to SET SHINING EXAMPLES for weaker
students
, which NURTURES HEALTHY COMPETITION in
today
schools.
As a result
, unless they do their best, they would find it
hard
to
keep
up with their peers.

In conclusion
, I contend that any personal improvement, if modest, should
be appreciated
. More
importantly
, giving rewards needs to be due and well-prepared in order that each receiver realizes they should
move
forward,
rather
than
being satisfied
with achievements recorded.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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