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Nowadays museums and historical sites are visited mainly by foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v.1

Nowadays museums and historical sites are visited mainly by foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v. 1
As compared to the bygone decades, many tourist locations and museums are visited by people from other nations instead of natives. There are multiple reasons associated with this trend. This essay intends to discuss about the main causes of this issue and suggests certain remedies in order to attract the local area to visit museums and adorable destinations. To begin with, there are certain factors behind the issue of people from the local area are not visited museums and local fascinating places. Firstly, either unaware of the importance of a particular place or they want to travel into long distances. To go into detail, people are least bothered about the crucial history of their places. Besides, they may not have interested visit the local areas. So they are always looking at the fares places instead of the nearest cites. For instance, India is enriched with a plethora of historical places and heritages, however, people love to go to western countries for enjoyment during their holidays. Therefore, they can have new experiences. Nevertheless, there are myriads of solutions can be implemented by governing authorities as to get locals in it. To be specific, the paramount factor is that should be free of cost. So that people from from low economic background also have the chance to go there. Secondly, local government can conduct awareness programs, especially school children. As a result of these campaigns facilitate improved the knowledge of people about their places. To cite an example, a survey report from a popular magazine reveals that In China local tourist places are completely free for their local people. To conclude, what is apparent is that, local authority and people work shoulder to shoulder to escalate the number of local visitors by providing free entry and arrange educational programmes for the public about the crucial factors of their museums and attractive places. The Government has to take certain initiative such as free entry pass and awareness campaigns and so on.
As compared to the bygone decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourist locations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are visited
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from other nations
instead
of natives. There are multiple reasons associated with this trend. This essay intends to
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
main causes of this issue and suggests certain remedies in order to attract the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
area to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and adorable destinations.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are certain factors behind the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
area are not visited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
fascinating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Firstly
, either unaware of the importance of a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
or they want to travel into long distances. To go into detail,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are least bothered about the crucial history of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Besides
, they may not have interested visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they are always looking at the fares
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
instead
of the nearest cites.
For instance
, India
is enriched
with a plethora of historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and heritages,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to go to western countries for enjoyment during their holidays.
Therefore
, they can have new experiences.

Nevertheless
, there are myriads of solutions can
be implemented
by governing authorities as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
in it. To be specific, the paramount factor is that should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of cost.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible typo: you repeated a word
from from
low economic background
also
have the chance to go there.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can conduct awareness programs,
especially
school children.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result of these campaigns facilitate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. To cite an example, a survey report from a popular magazine reveals that In China
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, what is apparent is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
authority and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "shoulder to".
shoulder to shoulder to
escalate the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
visitors by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
entry and arrange educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for the public about the crucial factors of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and attractive places.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take certain initiative such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
entry pass and awareness campaigns and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Nowadays museums and historical sites are visited mainly by foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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