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nowadays museums and historical sites sites are mainly visited by foreign tourists than locals. why is this happening? what can be done to attract locals to visit museums and historical sites more often. v.4

nowadays museums and historical sites sites are mainly visited by foreign tourists than locals. why is this happening? what can be done to attract locals to visit museums and historical sites more often. v. 4
It is true that only for girls take interest to visit museums and historical places these days. High ticket prices and lack of interest can be the reasons for low number of local visitors than foreigners, which can be overcome by giving additional benefits such as low entry fees to locals and organising annual events at these places. One of the main reasons of this can be foreign tourists visit other countries to explore new cultures, and one best one best way to do it is visiting museums and historical places. On the other hand, locals are generally well aware about the cultures is there are living there for a long time. So, because of that they show less interest to visit those places. Moreover, some historical places and museums impose huge amount of entry fees on visitors. While foreigners do not deny this charge because visiting is in their interest, domestic visitors find it extravagant. For example, entry fees in the Taj Mahal, one of the seven wonders, is 1000 Indian rupees per person, which is the total income per day of most of the Indians. A possible solution to this problem can be the entry fee can be lowered for local visitors or these places can wave entry fees on weekends. This will encourage more people to come into these museums and historical places. Moreover, the authorities can organise annual exhibition of artefacts and artworks for visitors, and can organise quiz competition by inviting locals to take part in and later on bake and reward those to perform well in those competitions. This will attract many people to visit the historical places and museums. in conclusion, less interest and expensive entry passes are the reasons in the reduction of local visitors. Solution to this problem lies in the hands of management authorities of these places.
It is true that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for girls take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
these days. High ticket prices and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
can be the reasons for low number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
than foreigners, which can
be overcome
by giving additional benefits such as low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
annual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
at these places.

One of the main reasons of this can be foreign tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
other countries to explore new cultures, and
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "one best".
one best one best
way to do it is visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
are
generally
well aware about the cultures is there are living there for a long time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
impose huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. While foreigners do not deny this charge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
visiting is in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
, domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
find it extravagant.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
in the Taj Mahal, one of the seven wonders, is 1000 Indian rupees per person, which is the total income per day of most of the Indians.

A possible solution to this problem can be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
can
be lowered
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
or these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can wave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
on weekends. This will encourage more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Moreover
, the authorities can
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
annual exhibition of
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
and artworks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
, and can
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
quiz competition by inviting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in and later on bake and reward those to perform well in those competitions. This will attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and museums.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion, less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entry
passes are the reasons in the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. Solution to this problem lies in the hands of management authorities of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay nowadays museums and historical sites sites are mainly visited by foreign tourists than locals. why is this happening? what can be done to attract locals to visit museums and historical sites more often. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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