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Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.13

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. v. 13
The theme announced in the topic is concentrated on ecological problems. This author thinks that working individually we could not ever make the environment better and improvement in nature only could be reached with the involvement of such forces as governments and corporations. There is a real problem existing nowadays when with industrialization there came harmful emissions, air pollutions and extinction of the whole species. Does it really work like that? There I will try to make clear my opinion on this topic Of course, the environmental problem is very acute nowadays. Fast steps of technical progress make people feel themselves more comfortable with basic things, but the progress also leaves an indelible mark on the world. And there will be no improvements until the large corporations would not think about the environmental problems. I actually agree with this part of the authors topic. For example, my aunt Natalia who lives in Chelyabinsk says that all the time people there suffer from the emissions by Chelyabinsk Zinc processing factory. There is a thick smog half a summer and all winters their snowdrifts are covered with iced black crust. Even if snow became black what implications we could see in our lungs, in our environment? Nothing good, until corporations stops saving money on non-cleaning the emissions and begin installing special filter systems from the most part of harmful products. On the other hand, I cannot agree at all with the author at all. It is too pessimistic to think that individuals can do nothing with an environmental problem. Who if not individuals could bring to corporations and governments the idea of the benefits of reducing the harm to the nature? I have such a great example which shows that individuals could make much more than we expecting from them. Firstly, I would like to mention two sisters from Bali – Isabel and Melati Wijsen. They were just schoolgirls when they were inspired by the Mahatma Gandi to do any significant things and they realized that their island, beaches and water suffers from plastic pollution. They involved school in their project, talked with lots of Bali tourists in the airport and finally they have been noticed by local government, which fortunately supported them and now they banned all the plastic bags on Bali and who knows may me in a couple of years their project will grow into a recycling factory or something more. All in all, I can say that our bad position should not grow into pessimistic thoughts shifting all responsibility to huge companies and governments. Individuals and corporations should work together and share ideas to come to a better future for our nature.
The theme announced in the topic
is concentrated
on ecological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. This author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that working
individually
we could not ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the environment better and improvement in nature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
could
be reached
with the involvement of such forces as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
. There is a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
existing nowadays when with industrialization there came harmful emissions, air pollutions and extinction of the whole species. Does it
really
work like that? There I will try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
my opinion on this topic

Of course
, the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
acute nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
steps of technical progress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel themselves more comfortable with basic things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the progress
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
an indelible mark on the world. And there will be no improvements until the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. I actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this part of the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "authors'" or "author's"?
authors
topic.
For example
, my aunt Natalia who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in Chelyabinsk says that all the time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
there suffer from the emissions by Chelyabinsk Zinc processing factory. There is a thick smog half a summer and all winters their snowdrifts
are covered
with iced black crust. Even if snow became black what implications we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in our lungs, in our environment? Nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, until
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
saving money on non-cleaning the emissions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
installing special filter systems from the most part of harmful products.

On the other hand
, I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
at all with the author at all. It is too pessimistic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can do nothing with an environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
A noun should not follow 'who'. Try changing to a verb or maybe to "who is a if".
Who if
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
could bring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of the benefits of reducing the harm to the nature? I have such a great example which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
much more than
Did you mean "we're expecting", "we are expecting", or "we were expecting"?
we expecting
from them.
Firstly
, I would like to mention two sisters from Bali
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
Isabel and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Melati
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wijsen
. They were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
schoolgirls when they
were inspired
by the Mahatma
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gandi
to do any significant
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
things and
they realized that their island, beaches and water suffers from plastic pollution. They involved school in their project, talked with lots of Bali tourists in the airport and
finally
they have
been noticed
by local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, which
fortunately
supported them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they banned all the plastic bags on Bali and who knows may me in a couple of years their project will grow into a recycling factory or something more.

All in all, I can say that our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
position should not grow into pessimistic thoughts shifting all responsibility to huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
should work together and share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a better future for our nature.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. v. 13

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
444 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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