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Nowadays museum and historical sites are visited mainly by foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v.1

Nowadays museum and historical sites are visited mainly by foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v. 1
Due to technological advancements, nowadays, most of the individuals rely on the internet to enhance their knowledge and skills. Many of them are of the view that the libraries should be replaced by computers because they result in significant loss of time, energy and money and some people oppose this notion. In my view, both are the powerhouse of knowledge, and they important, but the pros of computers are more than that of libraries as web based technology has an unlimited explanation of concepts, but books have limited source of information. Undoubtedly, libraries contain wisdom and it is the place where a person can sit and concentrate to spend some quality time to think beyond their limits by reading fine books. Research proves that a person who reads good books, grow intellectually and think in a refined manner. Moreover, through written information, one can become more creative and also feel less stressed. Some libraries have a space where people can sit and enjoy the company of great books which leads to knowledgeable generations. For instance, some school and college going children do not get proper space at home to study because of joint families or less area, so they can sit in libraries and can study. However, in recent times, due to modernization, people do not have much time to read books to attain knowledge. So, they utilise electronic devices like computers, mobiles to save their resources and money. The internet is a great source of information to achieve any task. With a blink of an eye, a person can get infinite wisdom using the technology. While making paper, trees are being cut, so books lead to less number of plants. So, to avoid cutting of trees, scientists enforce everyone to grow one plant and to be environment friendly. For example, a tonne of paper is made from four full grown trees. Moreover, with a single click, pupils can open various e-books on a website and can get sufficient amount of awareness about a particular topic. So, this is the best option to study anything. Furthermore, many social networking sites help the community to interact with different people to clear their doubts regarding any difficult situation. Therefore, merits of Computers outweigh the libraries. To epitomize, various websites, help the community by making them interact with teachers all over the world. They can ask questions to get accurate answers about them. To conclude, the internet is user-friendly and has a plethora of sources which facilitate the students with a plenty of things in a cheap price, but books compared to them, are costly and an individual has to read a lot to get a particular thing which makes them impatient.
Due to technological advancements, nowadays, most of the individuals rely on the internet to enhance their knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them are of the view that the libraries should
be replaced
by computers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they result in significant loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, energy and money and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
oppose this notion. In my view, both are the powerhouse of knowledge, and they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the pros of computers are more than that of libraries as web based technology has an unlimited explanation of concepts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have limited source of information.

Undoubtedly
, libraries contain wisdom and it is the place where a person can sit and concentrate to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
beyond their limits by reading fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. Research proves that a person who reads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, grow
intellectually
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Consider replacing "in a refined manner" with the adverb for "refined"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a refined manner
.
Moreover
, through written information, one can become more creative and
also
feel less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
libraries have a space where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can sit and enjoy the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which leads to knowledgeable generations.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
school and college going children do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper space at home to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of joint families or less area,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can sit in libraries and can study.

However
, in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, due to modernization,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to attain knowledge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
electronic devices like computers, mobiles to save their resources and money. The internet is a great source of information to achieve any task. With a blink of an eye, a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
infinite wisdom using the technology. While making paper, trees are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
lead to less number of plants.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to avoid cutting of trees, scientists enforce everyone to grow one plant and to be environment friendly.
For example
, a tonne of paper
is made
from four
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
full grown
trees.

Moreover
, with a single click, pupils can open various e-books on a website and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sufficient amount of awareness about a particular topic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this is the best option to study anything.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social networking sites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the community to interact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
their doubts regarding any difficult situation.
Therefore
, merits of Computers outweigh the libraries. To epitomize, various websites,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the community by making them interact with teachers all over the world. They can ask questions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accurate answers about them.

To conclude
, the internet is user-friendly and has a plethora of sources which facilitate the students with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of things in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
price,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
compared to them, are costly and an individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
read a lot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a particular thing which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them impatient.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays museum and historical sites are visited mainly by foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
449 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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