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Nowadays most people wear western clothes rather than their traditional clothes What are the reasons for it Is it a positive or negative development v.2

Nowadays most people wear western clothes rather than their traditional clothes What are the reasons for it Is it a positive or negative development v. 2
In recent years, we have seen a considerable rise in the number people who choose to wear western clothes instead of the traditional one. There are various reason for this, and I consider it to be a positive trend. There are several reasons why many people are likely to select modern clothing as apart of daily life. Firstly, they provide a sense of comfort for people who dress them. For example, sportspeople who play tennis often wear shorts, shirt, and training shoes, and therefore can easily move during competition time. Secondly, a rich variety of modern style and affordable prices allow customers to have many options. They are able to wear them either in work or social contexts, while traditional clothes just wear on some special occasions. In my view, the changes described above should be seen as progress. Nowadays, more and more people wear western clothing may contribute greatly to the fashion industry. In doing so, a healthy economy can result in job creation and a high level of employment in textile manufacturing. Another positive is that the introduction of western clothes may enhance the values of traditional dress. For instance, Vietnamese white-collar workers often wear suits and skirts in the workplace, while they just wear Aodai in some important days. Aodai is the most well-known all over the world and becomes Vietnam’s symbol. In conclusion, it is clear that there are could be several reasons why the western dress is more popular in the world, and I believe that these developments are desirable.
In recent years, we have
seen
a considerable rise in the number
people
who choose to
wear
western clothes
instead
of the traditional one. There are various reason for this, and I consider it to be a
positive
trend.

There are several reasons why
many
people
are likely to select modern clothing as
apart of
daily life.
Firstly
, they provide a sense of comfort for
people
who dress them.
For example
, sportspeople who play tennis
often
wear
shorts, shirt, and training shoes, and
therefore
can
easily
move
during competition time.
Secondly
, a rich variety of modern style and affordable prices
allow
customers to have
many
options. They are able to
wear
them either in work or social contexts, while traditional clothes
just
wear
on
some
special occasions.

In my view, the
changes
described
above should be
seen
as progress. Nowadays, more and more
people
wear
western clothing may contribute
greatly
to the fashion industry. In doing
so
, a healthy economy can result in job creation and a high level of employment in textile manufacturing. Another
positive
is that the introduction of western clothes may enhance the values of traditional dress.
For instance
, Vietnamese white-collar workers
often
wear
suits and skirts in the workplace, while they
just
wear
Aodai
in
some
important
days.
Aodai
is the most well-known all over the world and becomes Vietnam’s symbol.

In conclusion
, it is
clear
that there are could be several reasons why the western dress is more popular in the world, and I believe that these developments are desirable.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays most people wear western clothes rather than their traditional clothes What are the reasons for it Is it a positive or negative development v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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