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Nowadays most people wear western clothing rather than their traditional clothes. What are the reasons for it? Is it a positive or a negative development? v.2

Nowadays most people wear western clothing rather than their traditional clothes. What are the reasons for it? Is it a positive or a negative development? v. 2
Human has entered in an era of advancement where lifestyle has undergone dramatic changes and so is the taste of clothing. modern clothing has overshadowed the ancient clothing style quite significantly. This essay will throw light behind the reasons of this dramatic change multifarious reasons are there which forced human to jump to the modern clothing style. First and foremost, change is the order of the day. Human started from leaves and keeps on inventing clothing style according to his need. As now we are leading into an advance era, it has been need of hour to wear fancy clothes and current dressing style actually is quite fancy which has forced new generation to adopt it. What is more, traditional dresses were not that comfortable as compare to current dresses. The cloth being used in old dresses was not of high quality and they used to be a bit much long in size which made people to put them on back seat. For instance, Indian traditional dresses used to cover whole body along with face which was not comfortable especially during summers. I strongly believe that the change that world has experienced from traditional clothing to modern clothing is quite satisfying and positive. A human should wear whatever he feels comfortable in and modern clothing development is quite comfortable and fashionable To recapitulate, clothing reflects one' s lifestyle and the attitude that one posses toward life. Since human has modernized almost with everything, modernization in clothing was also needed and adapting modern clothing was absolutely a fare call
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
has
There isn't usually a preposition after "entered". Did you mean "entered an era"?
entered in an era
of advancement where lifestyle has undergone dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is the taste of clothing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
modern
clothing has overshadowed the ancient clothing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
significantly
. This essay will throw light behind the reasons of this dramatic
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
change


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
multifarious
reasons are there which forced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
to jump to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
clothing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is the order of the day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on inventing clothing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
according to his need. As
The comma is probably missing here: "now, we".
now we
are leading into an advance era, it has
been need
of hour to wear fancy clothes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
dressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
actually is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
fancy which has forced new generation to adopt it.

What is more
, traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
were not that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfortable
as compare to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
. The cloth being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
was not of high
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
quality and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a bit much long in size which made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to put them on back seat.
For instance
, Indian traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to cover whole body along with face which was not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfortable
especially
during summers.

I
strongly
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that world has experienced from traditional clothing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
clothing is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
satisfying and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
should wear whatever he feels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfortable
in and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
clothing development is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfortable
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
fashionable


To recapitulate, clothing reflects
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s lifestyle and the attitude that
Don't use the number 'one' with plural words. Did you mean "one poss", "one posse", "a poss", "a posse", or simply "posses"?
one posses
toward life. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
has modernized almost with everything, modernization in clothing was
also
needed and adapting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
clothing was
absolutely
a fare
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
call
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays most people wear western clothing rather than their traditional clothes. What are the reasons for it? Is it a positive or a negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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