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For this task, you will write an essay in response to a question that asks you to state, explain, and support your opinion on an issue. Typically, an effective essay will contain a minimum of 300 words. The quality of your writing includes the development v.2

For this task, you will write an essay in response to a question that asks you to state, explain, and support your opinion on an issue. Typically, an effective essay will contain a minimum of 300 words. The quality of your writing includes the development v. 2
Judgement in the young age can be deceitful. Allowing young children to avail smart phone, which has internet access, can distract them from the right path. Hence, I agree that parents should forbid young children from owning smart phones. Reason behind my opinion is young age is delicate and play a significant role in shaping our personality, career and the way we perceive everything. I feel letting youths to own a smart phone can add distractions and digress them from doing well in their life. Apps like Facebook, Whatapp can eat up lot of their time in which they could have involved in physical activities, learning and other useful aspects of life. Additionally, with the help of internet, they can have access to many irrelevant and vulgar sites which can degrade their thought and character. Now we see more than average number of children below 15 years having an account in social media like Facebook, uploading pictures, adding friends whom they don' t know. Parents hardly have control over whom their children add as friend or not in social media, so that they can protect them from any bad influences. Adding to the previous paragraph, apart from social media and vulgar sites, they can have many video games in their phone. We can see even small children of age 5 or 6 playing video games in the smart phones of their parent. This not only leads to addiction among the youth, but also can cause several health impacts. In the current era, we can see so many youths wearing spectacles once they reach the high school, which was rare before. Along with eye problems, sitting at home and playing video games all the time can also lead to obesity. This is because they will not longer involve in physical activities. Thus, I feel forbidding young children from having their own cell phone can shape their future in the right way, as doing so will preclude bad influences and save a lot of their time for doing something useful for their development.
Judgement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age can be deceitful. Allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to avail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, which has internet access, can distract them from the right path.
Hence
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that parents should forbid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from owning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
phones.

Reason behind my opinion is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age is delicate and play a significant role in shaping our personality, career and the way we perceive everything. I feel letting youths to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
distractions and digress them from doing well in their life. Apps like Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatapp
can eat up lot of their time in which they could have involved in physical activities, learning and other useful aspects of life.
Additionally
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of internet, they can have access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
irrelevant and vulgar sites which can degrade their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and character.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
more than average number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
below 15 years having an account in social media like Facebook, uploading pictures, adding friends whom they
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t know. Parents hardly have control over whom their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
as friend or not in social media,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can protect them from any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influences.

Adding to the previous paragraph, apart from social media and vulgar sites, they can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
video games in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of age 5 or 6 playing video games in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
of their parent. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
leads to addiction among the youth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can cause several health impacts. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youths wearing spectacles once they reach the high school, which was rare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Along with eye problems, sitting at home and playing video games all the time can
also
lead to obesity. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will not longer involve in physical activities.

Thus
, I feel forbidding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from having their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
can shape their future in the right way, as doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
will preclude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influences and save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
their time for doing something useful for their development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay For this task, you will write an essay in response to a question that asks you to state, explain, and support your opinion on an issue. Typically, an effective essay will contain a minimum of 300 words. The quality of your writing includes the development v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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