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Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems of this? Suggest some solutions to solve the problem? v.1

Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems of this? Suggest some solutions to solve the problem? v. 1
Nowadays, visiting geographic locations with extreme conditions, such as tundras, mountains and deserts, is getting more popular. In this essay I will discuss the upsides and drawbacks of visiting such places. On the one hand, there are two major advantages for visiting places with hard conditions. One of those, is the exploration of these areas. This is because humans are generally interested in knowing more about the planet earth. Moreover, some people consider the adventure part of visiting such areas as a prime benefit as well. For example, during my last visit to Morocco, I experienced camping in the Sahara desert. The reason for that, was that I wanted to know more about different kinds of flora and fauna living in the Sahara desert, in addition to experiencing the adrenaline rush caused by camping away from civilization. On the other hand, there are two prime setbacks for going on such trips. First of all, these trips might cause unexpected kinds of danger. In addition to that, it is hard to get help while you are away from human civilization, because these places are not prepared with the adequate infrastructure like roads and hospitals. Consequently, it is a life threatening experience. For instance, it is known that, visiting places with extreme conditions, like Everest mountain, has caused numerous deaths during the last decade. In conclusion, while there are a couple of benefits for visiting places where conditions are difficult, like expanding your knowledge and having adventurous experiences, there are two major disadvantages of such an activity, which are exposing oneself to different kinds of danger and being far away from lifesaving infrastructure. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the drawbacks because knowledge is an important part of being a human; furthermore, the drawbacks could be mitigated by acquiring proper training.
Nowadays, visiting geographic locations with extreme conditions, such as tundras, mountains and deserts, is getting more popular. In this essay I will discuss the upsides and drawbacks of visiting such places.

On the one hand, there are two major advantages for visiting
places
with
hard
conditions. One of those, is the exploration of these areas. This is
because
humans are
generally
interested in knowing more about the planet earth.
Moreover
,
some
people
consider the adventure part of visiting such areas as a prime benefit
as well
.
For example
, during my last visit to Morocco, I experienced camping in the Sahara desert. The reason for that, was that I wanted to know more about
different
kinds of flora and fauna living in the Sahara desert,
in addition
to experiencing the adrenaline rush caused by camping away from civilization.

On the other hand
, there are two prime setbacks for going on such trips.
First of all
, these trips might cause unexpected kinds of
danger
.
In addition
to that, it is
hard
to
get
help
while you are away from human civilization,
because
these
places
are not prepared with the adequate infrastructure like roads and hospitals.
Consequently
, it is a life threatening experience.
For instance
, it
is known
that, visiting
places
with extreme conditions, like Everest mountain, has caused numerous deaths during the last decade.

In conclusion
, while there are a couple of benefits for visiting
places
where conditions are difficult, like expanding your knowledge and having adventurous experiences, there are two major disadvantages of such an activity, which are exposing oneself to
different
kinds of
danger
and being far away from lifesaving infrastructure. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the drawbacks
because
knowledge is an
important
part of being a human;
furthermore
, the drawbacks could
be mitigated
by acquiring proper training.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems of this? Suggest some solutions to solve the problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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