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Missions to explore space are hugely expensive, and there are problems on Earth which demand attention. The number of these missions needs to be reduced. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Missions to explore space are hugely expensive, and there are problems on Earth which demand attention. The number of these missions needs to be reduced. v. 2
Missions to discover space are quite costly while there are tribulations on Earth, which require attention. Hence, the number of these operations requires to be made less frequent. I agree with the view held as the expenditure to find the unknown could rather be used to tackle the problem at hand. Space travel has always intrigued mankind. In order to explore the unknown, man has used different methods over the centuries to find life beyond the place currently inhibited that is Earth. Unlike travel between two countries, the journey from one planet to another has specialized equipment. Apart from that, individuals travelling require to be trained before heading on their adventurous journey. Hence, equipment and manpower are expensive in order to conduct a space mission. Conversely, undiscovered corners of the Earth are begging for attention in terms of finances. Countries are suffering from various catastrophes such as earthquakes, cyclones, and poverty. Human lives are lost due to these mishaps occurring, and no help aided. The government needs to consider its citizens before funding research. Although research of other planets is important, they are not as necessary as allocating funds to nations that are in necessity. It is not the case where the state has to stop all missions to explore space instead a considerate usage of wealth is the need of the hour. In conclusion, as stated earlier a phenomenon not explored by human eyes is always set to be more interesting, however, our prime concern is the place we occupy at the moment.
Missions to discover space are quite costly while there are tribulations on Earth, which require attention.
Hence
, the number of these operations requires to
be made
less frequent. I
agree
with the view held as the expenditure to find the unknown could
rather
be
used
to tackle the problem at hand.

Space travel has always intrigued mankind. In order to explore the unknown,
man
has
used
different
methods over the centuries to find life beyond the place
currently
inhibited
that is
Earth. Unlike travel between two countries, the journey from one planet to another has specialized equipment. Apart from that, individuals travelling require to
be trained
before
heading on their adventurous journey.
Hence
, equipment and manpower are expensive in order to conduct a space mission.
Conversely
, undiscovered corners of the Earth are begging for attention in terms of finances. Countries are suffering from various catastrophes such as earthquakes, cyclones, and poverty. Human
lives
are lost
due to these mishaps occurring, and no
help
aided.

The
government
needs to consider its citizens
before
funding research. Although research of other planets is
important
, they are not as necessary as allocating funds to nations that are in necessity. It is not the case where the state
has to
stop
all missions to explore space
instead
a considerate usage of wealth is the need of the hour.

In conclusion
, as stated earlier a phenomenon not explored by human eyes is always set to be more interesting,
however
, our prime concern is the place we occupy at the moment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Missions to explore space are hugely expensive, and there are problems on Earth which demand attention. The number of these missions needs to be reduced. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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