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Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems of this? Suggest some solutions to solve the problem? v.3

Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems of this? Suggest some solutions to solve the problem? v. 3
Currently, most people have a problem with how to have work-life-balance living. There are many causes of this problem, however I believe that various solutions can be identified to address this problem which will be furethered discuss in this essay. Most people have work overload life problem occurred by various causes. First, the rapid change in technology facilitates anyone to work anywhere via smartphone, tablet, laptop. Since, people can work and communicate to other people while they are at home or outside their office from using the internet. For example, employee can have a VDO conference via their smartphone during their vacation which should be the time for relaxation. Accordingly, their personal life and their work mode are blended in together resulting in having no time for their family, hobbies, or doing other self development activity. Another reasons is that misperception and incorrect judgement of some employers about their employees’ performance depended on ability to work until night or work anytime forces employees indirectly to stay at the office after their working hours. As staying late at the office until night, there is no time for other activities except working and then go directly back home for sleeping. Nevertheless, there are many possible solutions to solve this problem. First, it is essential to separate phone numbers or emails from personal and work. This is because it can be a good reason for having no responses when employees are outside their work. Consequently, they will have a clear time boarder between working life and personal life leading to have more time to spend in other areas of interest. In addition, it is a responsibility of organizations to have suitable employees’ performance assessment supporting working with in the working hours concept. Because, employees will be no longer to stay lately for persenting the face to their supervisors. This brings about more efficiency in their work from the effort to deliver their tasks on time during the working hours and also better quality of employees’ life from have more time for their personal life. To sum up, there are many causes leading to how to manage employees’ personal life from working which are ability to work anywhere via internet and misconcept of working late. However, if people can separate their life from work apart and the firms support the idea of work life balance for their employees, this problem would be alleviated.
Currently
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with how to have work-life-balance living. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
however
I believe that various solutions can
be identified
to address this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
which will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
furethered
discuss in this essay.

Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overload
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
occurred by various causes.
First
, the rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in technology facilitates anyone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
anywhere via smartphone, tablet, laptop. Since,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and communicate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while they are at home or outside their office from using the internet.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
can have a
Possible spelling mistake found.
VDO
conference via their smartphone during their vacation which should be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for relaxation.
Accordingly
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
mode
are blended
in together resulting in having no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their family, hobbies, or doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
self development activity. Another reasons
You should probably use: "are".
is
that misperception and incorrect judgement of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employers about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees’
performance depended on ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
until night or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
anytime forces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
indirectly
to stay at the office after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours. As staying late at the office until night, there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities except
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
and then go
directly
back home for sleeping.

Nevertheless
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possible solutions to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
First
, it is essential to separate phone numbers or emails from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason for having no responses when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are outside their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Consequently
, they will have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
boarder between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
leading to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas of interest.
In addition
, it is a responsibility of organizations to have suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees’
performance assessment supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "hours'" or "hour's"?
hours
concept.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
will be no longer to stay lately for
Possible spelling mistake found.
persenting
the face to their supervisors. This brings about more efficiency in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from the effort to deliver their tasks on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours and
also
better quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
from have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life.

To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes leading to how to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
which are ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
anywhere via internet and
Possible spelling mistake found.
misconcept
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
late.
However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can separate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
apart and the firms support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
balance for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
would
be alleviated
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
64Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems of this? Suggest some solutions to solve the problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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