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Nowadays, most people try to achieve a balance between work and other parts of their lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems which prevent them? Suggest some solutions. v.1

Nowadays, most people try to achieve a balance between work and other parts of their lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems which prevent them? Suggest some solutions. v. 1
Everybody wants to achieve some balance between their work and life. However, they may not unfortunately be to manage to do this. There are several reasons for this. There are also some solutions. Having the right priorities is essential for achieving work life balance. For example, people who put their family above work must not commit the mistake of accepting a job that requires them to spend long hours at the workplace. Hence, for people who really want to find some time for themselves and their family, it is better to choose a job with reasonable working hours and salary. In other words, it is essential to set our priorities right before we can even attempt to achieve work life balance. Time management is also crucial. Every person wastes a lot of time in a day doing things that are useless. For example, most people these days spend inordinate amounts of time on social media. They are just wasting this time because there is nothing that they can accomplish by updating their social media status on an hourly basis. Another factor that hurts work life balance is the employee’s tendency to bring work home. This must be avoided unless it is really important. To conclude, knowing one’s priorities is the key to achieving proper work life balance. Time management is crucial. Having realistic goals and ambitions is equally important.
Everybody wants to achieve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, they may not unfortunately be to manage to do this. There are several reasons for this. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

Having the right priorities is essential for achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who put their family above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not commit the mistake of accepting a job that requires them to spend long hours at the workplace.
Hence
, for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
really
want to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves and their family, it is better to choose a job with reasonable working hours and salary.
In other words
, it is essential to set our priorities right
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we can even attempt to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
balance.

Time management is
also
crucial. Every person wastes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a day doing things that are useless.
For example
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days spend inordinate amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on social media. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wasting this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is nothing that they can accomplish by updating their social media status on an hourly basis. Another factor that hurts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
is the employee’s tendency to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
home. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be avoided
unless it is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

To conclude
, knowing one’s priorities is the key to achieving proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
management is crucial. Having realistic goals and ambitions is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, most people try to achieve a balance between work and other parts of their lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. What are the problems which prevent them? Suggest some solutions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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