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Most people try to balance between work and other parts of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this delicate balance. What are the main problems people are facing? What is the best way to overcome them? v. 2

It is paramount for youngsters to differentiate wrong from right at a young age. Penalizing them is relevant in helping to learn this difference. I agree with this statement because implementing discipline to children with punishments such as denying them access to their favourite objects could help prevent repetition of bad behaviour. Training the little ones to be aware of what is good or bad can be done by issuing them penalties for wrongdoing to prevent repetition of such behaviour. For instance, a young boy stole some stationery at school and he was caught and punished in front of the school assembly. The embarrassment he faced while being chastised may stop him from stealing again, thereby setting him on the right path by helping him understand the difference between right or wrong choices. Consequently, penalizing children for bad behaviour could assist in training them to be good citizens. Furthermore, punishments like depriving the young ones of their favourite items if they act terribly, is one method of discipline that the guardians and tutors could apply to correct them. This disciplinary act may help youngsters understand the consequences of being irresponsible. For example, when my 5 year old daughter who loves her toys and gadgets behaves badly I deny her access to these things and as a result of this, Ella realizes her mistake and apologizes immediately with a promise of being better behaved.  Therefore, enacting various penalties for poor behaviour could help in raising responsible children. In conclusion, it is sensible to say that implementing disciplinary actions on children by their parents or tutors helps them distinguish right from wrong and also train them to become responsible members of the society.

IELTS essay Most people try to balance between work and other parts of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this delicate balance. What are the main problems people are facing? What is the best way to overcome them? v.2

It is paramount for youngsters to differentiate
wrong
from
right
at a young age. Penalizing them is relevant in helping to learn this difference. I
agree
with this statement
because
implementing discipline to children with punishments such as denying them access to their
favourite
objects could
help
prevent
repetition of
bad
behaviour
. Training the
little
ones
to be aware of what is
good
or
bad
can
be done
by issuing them penalties for wrongdoing to
prevent
repetition of such
behaviour
.
For instance
, a young boy stole
some
stationery at
school and
he
was caught
and punished in front of the school assembly. The embarrassment he faced while
being chastised
may
stop
him from stealing again, thereby setting him on the
right
path by helping him understand the difference between
right
or
wrong
choices.
Consequently
, penalizing children for
bad
behaviour
could assist in training them to be
good
citizens.
Furthermore
, punishments like depriving the young
ones
of their
favourite
items if they act
terribly
, is one method of discipline that the guardians and tutors could apply to correct them. This disciplinary act may
help
youngsters understand the consequences of being irresponsible.
For example
, when my 5 year
old
daughter who
loves
her toys and gadgets behaves
badly
I deny her access to these things and
as a result
of this, Ella realizes her mistake and apologizes immediately with a promise of being better behaved.  
Therefore
, enacting various penalties for poor
behaviour
could
help
in raising responsible children.
In conclusion
, it is sensible to say that implementing disciplinary actions on children by their parents or tutors
helps
them distinguish
right
from
wrong
and
also
train them to become responsible members of the society.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
281 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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